The Core Of Fear
by Unsaid Goodbyes
Summary: “There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing.” Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Full summary inside.
1. Prologue: Heartless Ties

A/N: Hey everyone! This is a new story I decided to start, and I got the idea from Brianna, at a sleepover. I already know _exactly_ what's going to happen, so I will probably update quicker than I usually do. For all of you who miss _**'You Obviously Haven't Seen the Wings'**_, I'm sorry. I just....can't find the motivation to write the next chapter, but I'm trying to get it done. So, onto the story...

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Prologue: December 17th, 1997—Phoenix, Arizona

**3****rd**** Person's POV**

--

"Bedtime Bella."

Those two little words sent shivers down ten-year old Bella's back. The words echoed in the air, taunting Bella, practically begging her to disagree. Cold, flat brown eyes stared back into her own. They'd lost their emotion years ago. Bella froze for a second, not really seeing anything.

She used to trust this woman. She used to love and respect this woman. But not anymore. Never again would she allow herself to be thrown around. Never again would she be lied to. Of course, she'd be much better off ignorant, but if _she_ was going to say anything at all, Bella would've preferred it to be the truth for once.

Bella had always secretly despised her mother since _that_ _day_. The day her whole life had been flipped backwards and forwards. But, as someone once said, life goes on. No matter how much she wished that day had never happened, she couldn't turn back time. She'd had to learn to mature quickly and learn to survive on her own. No thanks to her erratic, hair brained so-called mother.

"Bella, I'm serious. It's time for bed."

The same woman, who used to bandage Bella up when she fell down, was now basically sentencing Bella to a death chamber. The brunette-vulture towered over Bella, glaring down at her in utter disgusting and incredibility. Bella calmly gazed back up, not showing anything on her face. Her mother simply wasn't trying hard enough to reach out for Bella.

"Isabella Marie. Get. To. Bed. _Now_." She tried to be intimidating, but Bella knew her mother was only a paper tiger. Menacing at first sight, but completely harmless. She didn't have the nerve to actually follow through with any threat. The vulnerability was clear in her eyes. Like a child almost. Bella took a shaky breath and turned on her heel. The bedroom door was slightly ajar, with darkness seeping out through the opening. Bella gulped, beginning to walk towards her room.

Her mom followed her into the room as Bella squeezed her eyes shut, feeling her way around. She quickly found her bed, pulling the covers up as far as she could. At one point, something heavy seemed to hold down a corner of the comforter. Bella kept her eyes tightly closed. A shaky breath escaped her lips.

"Mom, are you sitting on my bed?"

There was a pregnant pause where her mother gawked at Bella in perplexity. Bella felt something cold brush against her left hand and ice cold breath caress her neck. Her heart picked up pace. _Don't open your eyes_, she thought to herself. A pair of hands gripped onto her shoulders, massaging gently.

"No. Why?"

Bella shook her head quickly and shrugged the hands off her shoulders. They were too cold for her mother's. She slipped swiftly between the glossy silk sheets. Her mom gave her a peck on the forehead, the crept silently from the room. Bella pulled the blankets over her head as she heard the door click shut.

The husky chuckles began and Bella could feel the seemingly innocent touches all over her body. The laughs progressively got louder and louder in volume. So loud now, that is physically hurt Bella's ears. But only Bella could hear the mad cackles. Screeches ricocheted off the walls and fingers clawed at the sheets covering Bella. The little girl shook violently under the covers, desperately trying to remember to keep her eyes shut.

"_Open your eyes Bella! Come out and play with us!"_ The voices hissed menacingly. Bella whimpered and curled into a fetal position. Frightened tears leaked down her porcelain cheeks and she sniffled a bit.

The covers were ripped from her body and thrown across the room. The chilly air of the room hit her small body like a thousand tiny daggers stabbing into her. The laughter raised an octave, hysterical by now. Bella clamped a hand over her mouth and shrieked in horror. She sobbed manically, unable to contain herself. Her mother either heard nothing, or just didn't care. Bella picked the latter.

Cold hands grasped and ran over her body, whispering horrible things into her ears. They never did more than touch her, but that was enough. Enough for them and enough for Bella. Like parasites, they fed off the fear. Bella's fear was enough to sustain them. They basked in the sweet sensation radiating off the terrified girl. Because, for them...

It was enough.

_Scared of it.  
The noise, the pictures.  
Everything.  
Your eyes see  
The truth.  
Without  
The camouflage._

--

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter was so short. It _is_ only the prologue, so the real chapters will be longer. I'm kind of obsessed with poetry right now, so at the end of every chapter, there'll be a short verse of one of the poems I recently finished. I can't rhyme though. The best rhyme I know is _moose_ and _goose_.

--Breathless Tomb--


	2. Chapter 1: Colourless Grief

A/N: I know I said I wouldn't be starting anymore stories, but this story just popped out at me, and its plot was so profound that I had to continue with it. Needless to say, I will be updating this story quite frequently, as much as I can. I was trying not to start so many stories at once, but I can't really help myself. Well, onto the chapter....

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Chapter 1: August 31, 2005—Forks, Washington

**Bella's POV**

--

She'd done it. She officially kicked me out. I'd seen this coming ever since her bitter little remark she'd made around four years ago about _sending me to live with my father_. So, I wasn't surprised. Mildly hurt, yes. Slightly resentful, yes. But surprised, no. And though I didn't want to admit it, I didn't blame her. As hard as I tried, I just couldn't find it in me to place the blame on her.

So that's how I ended up here, around twenty-four hours later, waiting in the pouring rain for a father who'd yet to show up. I clutched my carry-on bag close to me, holding tightly to my suitcase. I watched as _happy_ families reunited, hugging and _laughing_ like everything was good in the world. Rage boiled inside me so badly that I just wanted to hit something.

My legs were weak from standing for so many hours and I was silently debating on whether or not to call a cab. I was losing faith in my father's arrival fast. My mind was nearly made up when a white-and-blue police cruiser pulled up beside me. The passenger seat window rolled down, to reveal a man I hadn't seen in nearly seventeen years.

My father.

And though I was nearly tearing up in happiness, I couldn't help but notice how his eyes seemed to flicker around, as if he expected more than just me. I frowned slightly, just enough for him not to notice the sadness painted on my face. A cold chill ran through me.

His eyes were haunted, grief-stricken. Mirror images of my own. With the exception of our age and gender, we could possibly be mistaken for twins. We were alike in every way, right down to the dead spark in our eyes. His lips pulled up in a crinkly smile, but it never reached his eyes.

"Welcome home Bella," He said, in a gruff voice that seemed raw from lack of use. A small smile overtook my face. _Home_. As much as I wanted to believe that, I knew it was impossible.

He rolled the window back up and the door popped open, along with the trunk. I grabbed my suitcase and carry-on bag, walking around to the back of the cruiser. I heaved the baggage into the trunk, and slammed down the door.

Once I was seated in the passenger seat, all strapped up and comfy, my dad—Charlie—started driving. There was an awkward tension between us, something that I'd rarely had around my mother. Sure there was always a strain between us, but with her always ignoring me, it made it difficult for the tension to seed itself and grow.

"Sorry I was late," Charlie mumbled, avoiding eye contact with me, "Renée gave me the wrong time."

That kind of figured. It'd be just like my mother—Renée—to do something like that to me. A sort of final farewell. One last slap in the face of how much power she held over me. I was shaking now, but not from anger. I was soaked to the bone and the water was beginning to freeze, forming tiny icicles on my eyelashes and turning my lips blue. Charlie noticed my discomfort.

"Oh, sorry. Are you cold? I'll turn the heat up." His hand reached over to the rotary dial underneath the CD player and turned it right. I was instantly blasted with a gust of warm air. I sighed in simple contentment.

"Thanks dad," I whispered, my first words since he'd arrived. I twisted my head to look out the window, watching the clouds roll by. It was a cloudy day, with the rain just beginning to let up. This kind of day would be very unusual in Phoenix. I'd lived there most of my life and rarely had I seen a day that wasn't sunny.

There was silence in the car again, so I turned my attention to the outside world again. I was astounded to see people out and about on a horrible day like this. Actual, normal, everyday folks, walking through the streets, under the drizzling rain, oblivious to it all. So.....strange, and unnatural.

Charlie tried to keep small talk, asking about school, Renée, the weather, Renée, books, Renée, movies, and, did I mention, Renée. It was impossible not to notice, when looking into my father's nearly emotionless eyes or hearing the way he said _Renée_, that he was still in love with her. I felt pity in my heart. Good people like Charlie shouldn't end up loving people like Renée.

There was a saying out there, _good people always come out last in life_.

My right hand clenched into a fist. _Try to control yourself Bella_, I thought, breathing through my nose. My hand loosened, now limp against my thigh. The car hit a pot-hole and I was bumped into the air, hitting my head on the roof of the cruiser. Pain danced around my scalp like shocks of electricity.

"Ouch," I muttered, pushing my hand against my throbbing forehead. I bit my lower lips hard. Charlie winced, mumbling _sorry_ over and over again, until I actually had to tell him to be quiet. The car drove on, in silence like always. Charlie looked both ashamed and incredulous at the same time.

"Do you like music?" He asked, "We just got the new Backstreet Boys album. I think it's called 'Millennium' or something," Charlie rambled on, flipping through his CD case while keeping one eye on the road. I placed my hand on top of his, stilling his movements.

"Dad? 'Millennium' came out back in 1999." His eyes bugged out in disbelief. I offered a tight, amused half-smile, but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.

"Oh." He exhaled like he'd been punched in the stomach and began putting the CD case away. Internally, I giggled at his confusion. I would imagine that a small town like Forks would be slightly unaware of certain things, like new advances in electronics, but I didn't figure them to be _completely_ ignorant to _everything_. The Backstreet Boys craze had been _huge_ when it first started. I was sure _everyone_ _on_ _Earth_ had heard of them.

***

An hour later, Charlie pulled up into an unfamiliar driveway, and stopped the car. As I unsnapped my seatbelt, Charlie hit a button on his door that popped the doors open. I jumped from the cruiser and swung my carry-on over my shoulder. Jogging around to the back of the car, I found Charlie lifting my bag from the trunk onto the mossy green grass.

The house wasn't bad. In fact, it reminded me of the stereotypical house drawn by children. Perfect square house, with Plexiglas box-windows, walls painted sky blue and a rectangular-shaped door. The hedges were neatly trimmed and the plants were well watered, so that the grass was a startling peridot shade.

As I looked down the street, it came to my realization that every house was exactly the same. It vaguely reminded me of _Cat in the Hat_, starring Jim Carrey. All the houses were perfect, in a quaint little neighbourhood that simply screamed charm. A city this perfect was enough to drive one nuts. And I didn't need to be any crazier than I already was.

"Nice place you got," I remarked, trying to keep the choke out of my voice, "It looks...." I searched for a word to use.

"Perfect?" Charlie guessed. He shot me an apologetic smile, before making his way for the front door. "Forks may not be the _hippest_ or _coolest_ place ever, but it prides itself on perfection."

I felt like I was going to be sick.

This was all too much for me. The atmosphere, the weather, the _entire god forsaken city_. I needed some air, somewhere disorganized and unkempt.

All this perfect-ness was reminding me of some sort of asylum, with white padded walls and narrow, square rooms. Everything tidy and in place was exactly what I _didn't_ need.

The inside of the house wasn't much better than the outside. The walls were painted beautiful shades of sun drop yellow, olive green, vibrant purples and wine red. In any other place, these colours would look terrible together, but in this house, in this town, everything just seemed to....mesh.

"It's not much, but its home," Charlie said. He headed for the stairs and I followed, taking them two at a time to keep up with him. I held onto the railing to keep tripping and falling.

"No Char-dad, I love it." Truly I did. Though the atmosphere and quaintness was enough to make me sick, _anything_ was better than with Renée. Of course, she probably thought the same of me. It's said that most mothers and daughters don't get along, and in my case, that feeling was intensified by three hundred.

Charlie led me to a small room, which I assumed was my new bedroom for the next year. _Keep telling yourself that Bella_, I thought, _just one year and then you'll be old enough to move out and away from here._

It was smaller than my old room back in Phoenix, but somehow, more _me_. The bed was covered with a cherry red comforter—my favourite color—and the walls were painted silver, something too daring to be coordinated back in the blistering valleys of Arizona.

There was a rather ancient-looking ivory computer resting atop an old fashioned oak table. Charlie blew on it, running his hand over the screen to wipe off some of the dust. His fingers left a trail of black, where the screen was revealed from behind all the dust.

"Well, get settled in. Tomorrow's a big day." He smiled gently before walking out of the room, leaving me on my own. I fell backwards onto the bed, fighting off the urge to scream into a pillow. Everything in this room was flawless and ideal. Right down to the pictures pinned on the corkboard.

Night would fall soon, and soon it would be time to hide again. Until then, it would be best to, as Charlie said, settle in. My dad was wrong. It wouldn't be just tomorrow that would be eventful.

It'd also be every god damned night.

_No sugar coatings  
Just the  
Sickening,  
Dark  
Truth._

--

A/N: Well, that's the end of this chapter. This story is going to start of slow, you know, building up and up, but I'm going to start making the chapters a lot longer. Ten and twelve pages on Word to be exact. I hope to post the next chapter really soon. This is my first horror story, and it's not even very scary, it's more just suspenseful, so give me some credit. I'm doing my best.

--Breathless Tomb--_  
_


	3. Chapter 2: Clueless Friendships

A/N: Hey guys. It's been awhile. I finally got around to updating this story, which is quite pathetic because my last post was months ago. If you hate me, go ahead and tell me. I'm okay with that. But anywhoville, thank you for reviews. They're all so kind and encouraging. It's nice to not have a single bad review. So, onto the chapter…

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Chapter 2: September 1, 2005—Forks, Washington

**Bella's POV**

--

The sunlight seeped in through my purposely opened window. The relieving cries of a crow in the distance coaxed me into opening my eyes. I could smell the familiar aroma of eggs and bacon drifting through the air. I sighed. Morning again.

I sprung to my feet, taking one step forward before promptly catching my toe on the end of my rug and falling face first onto the floor. I leaned up on my elbows and gingerly touched my nose. A stinging pain shot through me and I winced. _What a way to start off the day_, I thought snidely.

Someone suddenly knocked on my door. "You okay kid?" Said Charlie's distinct rough voice.

_Just peachy Dad_, I wanted to say derisively, but instead I said, "I'm alright Dad. Just feel down. You know me, clumsy Bella."

There was silence for a few minutes as I stood up before Charlie said, "Breakfast is on the table Bells. I hope you're not hurt." And with that, I heard the sound of his raucous footsteps as he went down the stairs. I stretched out like a cat, arching my back and reaching for the ceiling—though I was much too short to touch it.

I took my time descending the staircase. I'd already fallen down once today. I didn't need another friendly visit to the floor. It was rather depressing, how much coordination I had, or rather, how much coordination I _lacked_.

By the time I reached the kitchen, Charlie was gone. _How busy could a Forks Chief of Police have to be to have to leave so early_, I thought in perplexity, _surely this city's crime rate is only an eight of that of Phoenix._

As I'd assumed earlier, a large plate of bacon and eggs sat on the table, appetizing though a little too much for me. I picked at it for a bit before throwing some plastic wrap over it and storing it in the refrigerator for later. Eggs were never very good once reheated, but I'd survive.

I took a quick shower, around five minutes long, before putting on a pair of loose grey jeans and a white wife beater. Downstairs in the living room, there was a red, plaid button-up shirt of Charlie's that was thrown onto the couch. I shrugged into it, doing up only the four bottom buttons.

Something on the coffee table by the couch caught my eye. A pair of keys and a note. I walked forward, pinching the keys between two fingers and reading the note straight off the table, without touching it. Charlie's dark, messy writing printed the page—an exact replica of mine.

_**Bells,**_

_**I'm gone to work. Breakfast is on the table. These two keys are for you. One for the house, and one for your new truck. If you have time tonight, could you pick up some supper? I'm not a great cook and I doubt you'd want waffles for supper. The food money is in a jar in the pantry. Pick up whatever you want for supper. The truck is your home coming gift. Good luck at school.**_

_**Charlie.**_

I gasped, running to the window. Outside, parked on the driveway was a sturdy-looking, faded red truck. Tears prickled at my eyes. This thoughtful gift was better than _anything_ Renée had ever done for me. I could hardly believe he'd done this for me, without even needing me to ask.

I grabbed my worn-out leather bag before walking out of the house, locking the door behind me. I'd pick up the door tonight after I'd gotten home from school. I was in the mood for some Chinese food though…

I started up the truck, the loud grumble of the engine startling me. Putting the car into reverse, I pulled out of the driveway and onto the road, turning on the headlights. It had looking so bright when I'd woken up…where was the sun now? A fog was beginning to set.

Fervent eyes followed my truck as I drove into the student lot. I could hear the buzzing whispers, even from inside my truck. My eyes kept trained on the road as I tried not to hit anyone and my cheeks burned bright. These kids had grown up together. They knew a new car—relatively speaking—when they saw one.

I shoved the stuck door open with my shoulder once I'd parked. For one, I was glad my brown locks fell over my shoulders, to hide my flaming face from the ever-nosy students. I locked the door, shuffling over to the building labelled _'Main Office'_.

I felt vulnerable and exposed. I was completely out of my element here. I was clueless and nervous. I got embarrassed often enough; I didn't want to increase it. Anxiety rushed through me and I bit down on my bottom lip.

Pushing open the door to the front office, I walked into a tiny, cozy room. Three plastic orange chairs were lined up against the wall, and I took a seat on one, seeing a blonde-haired boy leaning over the counter, talking, to who I assumed, was the school secretary. I took a small breath, focusing my attention to the world outside, through a large Plexiglas window.

Tiny droplets of rain began to fall, but no one seemed to mind. This confused me. Didn't they see that it was raining? Back in Phoenix, most everyone would be running for cover in even the lightest of showers. Yet her, it was nearly pouring and the students were acting like it was nothing unusual. I smiled wryly. It probably wasn't.

"Hello, you must be Isabella Swan?" I looked up, confounded. The blonde-haired boy smiled kindly down at me. His glittery, stormy grey eyes twinkled with tranquility and knowledge. I began to like him before I'd even spoken a word to him. He seemed like someone I could easily get along with.

"Yes," I smiled, holding out my hand, "Nice to meet you…" I trailed off, realizing I had no idea what his name was. He chuckled, but caught on.

"Jasper. Jasper Whitlock." He took my hand, shaking it. He had a firm grip, but not too tough. Jasper was a calm person. It seemed like _nothing_ could get under his skin.

"If you want I could show you around the school, since it's your first day and all," He offered, then shrugged, "It's up to you, but I'd be happy to. I'm sure you'd be great friends with my girlfriend, Alice. She's a little bundle of energy."

_The hyper to his peacefulness,_ I thought, _why am I not surprised?_

"That would be so incredibly kind of you," I gushed, "But do you mind if I get my schedule first?" He motioned to the counter.

"Be my guest," He said, and shot me a grin. I hurried forward to the red-haired secretary at the front of the office. She glanced up at me before breaking out in a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

"Oh, you must be Isabella Swan," She burbled, "Yes, we've _all_ been waiting for _you_. I expect you'll be needing your schedule and sign-in sheet?" I simply nodded. The way she put emphasis on the _all_ and _you_ scared me stiff. I heard Jasper's muted snicker behind me. I shot him a glare over my shoulder.

The bloody pig only grinned at me.

I turned back to the secretary—whose nametag, I now realized, read 'Shelly Cope'—as she handed me a few slips of paper, then proceeded to wish me luck.

_I wish I had any._

"Thank you very much. I'm sure it'll be an amazing day," I said to her sweetly, trying to hide my real emotions. With the exception of Jasper—and I supposed this 'Alice'—today was _not_ going to be amazing in any way.

We hurried out of the office, and though the sky was literally coming down in buckets, I was eternally gratified to have Charlie's thick, acrylic button-up shirt. Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me in the direction of a building with the number _four_ painted onto the side.

"We both have history together," He said over the roaring of the wind and rain, "I saw on your schedule back in the office." I nodded. I wasn't going to double-check _now_. The paper would just get soaked and therefore illegible. We ran together to the building.

Once we'd entered, I realized just how cold I was. My hair was wet and plastered to my face. Jasper wasn't fairing any better, but unlike me, he at least didn't resemble a half drowned cat. I inwardly sighed. Why couldn't I have the same natural good looks as people like him?

A girl suddenly appeared in front of us, holding two towels. She was every bit as attractive as Jasper, with snowy white skin and eyes the colour of freshly mown grass. Her short, inky black hair was spiked out in every direction, and she was at least a foot shorter than Jasper.

"Are you a pixie?" I blurted out, then gasped when my ears heard what my mouth had said. My hands clamped over my mouth and my cheeks turned bright red. I expected anger or a snide remark, but instead she giggled.

"No, I'm Alice," She smiled, "And I saw you coming, so I brought you two towels. Morning Jazz." She skipped over to his side and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. So _this_ was the Alice that Jasper was talking about.

"You saw us through the window?" I frowned. It was much too dark and blustery to see through the glass. Even now, looking out, I could only see the dim shapes of the parked cars.

"No. I _saw_ you." She tapped her forehead. My frown deepened as she pranced off, her moves fluid and lithe, like that of a dancer's. Jasper came to my side as we dried off.

"She means she saw us coming. In her head." Jasper smiled apologetically, "She has visions. I would've told you before, but not many people believe her, besides me, Rosalie, and her brothers. And I suppose Carlisle and Esme, but they don't hear about it a lot."

"Rosalie? Carlisle? Esme?" The names were unfamiliar. I'd never actually met someone—or heard of someone—with those names before. They were very…old fashioned.

"Carlisle and Esme are her adoptive parents. Rosalie is dating Alice's brother Emmett. You'll meet them later at lunch. Emmett, Edward—her other brother—and Rosalie tend to spend a lot of time together. Alice and I like to spend time alone, but you're welcome to tag along," He said, then smiled, then his smile turned sheepish, "That is, if you don't mind being a third wheel."

"I don't mind. Do you spend any time at all with the others?" I asked, finding myself suddenly increasingly intrigued by their small, but interesting world. It was like listening to someone reencounter a television show that I'd never seen nor heard about.

"Yes and now. Edward and Alice are extremely close, being twins, but, apparently, Edward gets a little discomforted being around Alice and I. In his words, our relationship is so deep that it makes him rather envious. He can stand being around Emmett and Rosalie better, even if their relationship is more physical than ours. He can stomach it." We moved forward to seat at a desk with Alice.

I was suddenly _very_ happy that this class had tables that seated three people each.

"Interested in our family stories Bella?" Alice grinned. Her peridot eyes gleamed with mischief and…love? I couldn't understand why _love_ would be in her eyes. Especially for _me_.

"Why'd you call me Bella?" I was shocked. I'd forgotten that I hadn't introduced myself as Bella to neither Jasper nor Alice.

"Don't you like that better?" Her expression never changed.

"No," I insisted, for some reason feeling incredibly stupid, "How'd you know I liked it?" She gave me an obvious look before I caught on.

"Oh yeah. Psychic," I grinned wryly. Jasper gave me an odd look, before shrugging.

"Now, you wanted to hear more about my family?" Alice asked, clasping her hands together and propping her elbows onto the triangle table before resting her chin against it. She lifted a sole eyebrow. A faint blush painted my cheekbones, feeling like I was intruding.

"If you don't mind, yes," I whispered shyly. I was suddenly grateful that the fact that we were all sitting on different ends of the triangle table, so that our backs were facing the other students. This conversation felt too private for even _me_. Though I was still insanely curious.

"Well, I have two brothers," Alice started, holding up two fingers, "Edward and Emmett. Edward's my twin and Emmett's a year older than us. We were all adopted together by Esme and Carlisle straight from the orphanage when Edward and I were six and Emmett was seven after our parents died and no one wanted to take care of us." She seemed genuinely unconcerned, her voice distant, as if she were talking about someone else's life.

"I'm sorry," I said, staring her straight in the eye so she could see how sincere I really was. I knew death by name.

"It's alright," Her smile was benign, "Esme and Carlisle are two of the most loving people on Earth. Esme calls us her Green-Eyed Babies, for obvious reasons." She tapped under her eye, chuckling slightly.

"So you and your brothers all have green eyes?" I asked, not caring if I was prying at her family. Everything was so _relevant_ to me for some reason.

"All perfectly green, but different shades." She pursed her lips pensively, "It's difficult to explain. You have to see with your own eyes. I'll show you at lunch." She beamed.

Jasper suddenly spoke up, "But what about you Bella?" My face blanched. _Oh, you don't want to hear about me_, I thought, _you _don't_ want to hear about me at all_.

"I recently moved here from Phoenix, Arizona to live with my dad," I said, trying to stay on lighter subjects, "Life with my mom was getting quite overwhelming, so I decided some change was in order."

"Oh, so you're an only child?" Alice asked.

I flinched, but quickly replied, "Yes." I saw her and Jasper share a short look, but neither of them said a word. They continued to ask questions for the rest of the class, light topics, such as, my likes and dislikes, my relationship with my father as opposed to my mother, and such.

Luckily, I only had one class all morning without Alice or Jasper. _Trigonometry_. Though, I did meet a shy girl—like myself—named Angela. She was every bit as compassionate as Jasper or Alice, and even offered to sit with me at lunch if I had no one to eat with. I politely declined of course, since I was sitting with Jasper and Alice, but it was nice to know there were kinder people here than in Phoenix.

Lunch came quickly, and exiting Trigonometry, I saw a large, burly man standing there. He was at least a year older than me, with curly, dark brown hair and khaki-green eyes. This must've been one of Alice's brothers. Once he saw me, an enormous smile spread across his face. I was more than slightly intimidated.

"Emmett Cullen at your service ma'am," He said teasingly, "I have been instructed by Alice to pick you up and bring you to our lunch table. You must be Bella Swan?" He held out his hand, and I found myself nodding and reaching forward to grip his hand.

What I was not expecting, was for him to grab me by my hand and toss me over his shoulder. I shrieked in terror before pounding at his back with my small, useless fists.

"Put me _down_, you big bully!" I growled, "I'll call the cops on you! My dad is Chief of Police." I threatened him, resuming punching him. He merely laughed at that.

"Pipe down Squirt," He scoffed, "God, you're almost as loud as Alice. And almost as short." He quickly added, bursting into even louder laughter, drawing perplexed looks from other students. I finally gave up and shut my mouth until he dropped me in front of a table of four people.

Alice and Jasper I recognized, but the two others I couldn't put names to. One was a stunning blonde. A princess from a fairy tale, with porcelain skin and vivid violet eyes. She gave me a calculating look, her strawberry lips puckered thoughtfully. The other was a remarkably gorgeous boy. He had to be the most beautiful man I'd ever seen, with messy copper-bronze hair and piercing emerald eyes. These must've been Rosalie and Edward.

I took the time to swiftly punch Emmett in the stomach, glaring at him as he shook his head, rolling his eyes. _As if I could hurt him_. It was like a butterfly against a bear.

I stuck my tongue out and pulled out a chair. Looking straight into Edward's smouldering eyes, I tried to sit down, but missed the seat. As I toppled to the ground, I heard Emmett break out into laughter. From my viewing point on the floor, I could see him clutching at his stomach, with tears of laughter streaming down his cheeks.

"Glad to see I amuse you," I muttered, pushing myself from the ground and taking a seat next to Jasper, with Emmett on my other side. Looking at all three of them now, it was nearly impossible to think that Emmett, Alice and Edward were related even with their three different shaded green eyes.

But at the same time, they were all utterly alike, with their pale bone skin and good looks. Everyone at this table, with the exception of myself, could've passed for models, even Alice with her height. They were _that_ gorgeous.

"This is Bella," Jasper introduced to Edward and Rosalie, who were giving me odd, cutting looks; as if they couldn't tell what to make of me. I raised my hand and waved timidly. A large, relaxed smile was suddenly painted on Edward's face. He reached across the table, offering his hand to me. I stared at it warily, then glanced at Emmett, who was shaking with suppressed laughter.

Edward sighed, rolling his eyes, "I'm not Emmett, don't worry. He's the joker in our family. The rest of us actually have _thoughts_ in our heads." He sent a teasing grin at Emmett, who huffed, looking the other way in annoyance. I laughed, reaching to grip his hand.

Shocks hopped up and down my arm, and his cool hand felt like it was burning him, yet I felt no pain. I flushed scarlet, my eyes downcast. I pulled back almost immediately, much to his shock. If I'd offended him, I didn't care. Edward frowned, but didn't say a word.

Rosalie finally smiled at me, but she didn't try to shake my hand or say a greeting. I grinned back. She seemed like someone else I could easily get along with.

It was lifting, being around these five extremely kind and funny people. It was like actually having friends for the first time. I found myself forgetting about all my worries and troubles, and simply getting lost is the bliss that was friendship. How could I have ever deprived myself of such a wonderful feeling?

The truth hit me like a wrecking ball once the day had ended and I'd arrived home. Looking around the empty, cool living room space, I was reminded of just why I'd always held myself back, never letting people break through my hard exterior. I was hurting them. I couldn't do this.

"I can't hurt them," I whimpered, crumbling to the floor, "I can't put my curse on them." I could feel myself, imploding, everything disintegrating to nothing. Hollow. Vacant. I could feel the empty space within my chest. I had to keep it that way. They were my friends, to help them; I'd have to make a clean break.

"Not anymore," I whispered to myself, "I won't hurt anyone. I'll just get through two years then leave. I won't subject them to my torture."

I couldn't. Because, for the first time in years—apart from my dad—I felt actual love and happiness. I felt like maybe I wasn't destined to a life void of any types of pleasure.

But how could I betray them by loving and trusting them?

_Night calls,  
But you can't answer,  
To the faces,  
That you see,  
In the dark._

--

A/N: Well, that's that people. I've done it. I've finished a chapter after numerous months. I hope you all like it, because I've worked forever on it (Actually, it only took a day and a half, but you don't need to know that). I've already finished about half of the next chapter done, so that should be up soon. I also will probably have another chapter of _**Twisted Dreams**_ up soon.

--Breathless Tomb--


	4. Chapter 3: Worthless Torture

A/N: Here, the third chapter of _**The Core of Fear**_ is finally done. I love the response I've gotten for this story. You're all amazing. I promise to have a new one-shot up soon, or at least have a new chapter for _**You Obviously Haven't Seen the Wings**_. One or the other. Actually, tell me what you'd rather have in a review. So, onto the chapter…

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Chapter 3: September 1 and 2, 2005—Forks, Washington

**Bella's POV**

--

I stayed crumpled on the floor, barely moving, for a while. My mind was racing, trying to think of _how_ I was going to make a clean break after today. What would I do? _Could_ I do it, after how the five of them had treated me? As if I was part of their small family. I could avoid them and stay around Angela. But no…she was exactly like them. I needed someone I could befriend without the possibility of getting attached to them.

Numbly, I walked to the pantry in the kitchen, taking out the jar marker _'Food Money' _and unscrewed the lid. Looking inside, I noticed there was only fifty dollars, plus a bunch of change. I sighed, grabbing the money and rushing back to my car, hoping to make it back in time for Charlie.

The supermarket was probably the only part of the city that _didn't_ look like it belonged in a small town. Luckily, I didn't run into any of the Cullen's, or Jasper and Rosalie. I needed to strengthen myself up for tomorrow. If I were to see them now…I didn't know if I could possibly handle it.

I picked up some potatoes and steaks, not needing anything else. I remembered my craving for Chinese this morning and nearly laughed. _I guess mood swings do change your appetite_, I thought crossly. And I knew a little something about mood swings.

The lady at the cash gave me a condescending look, nearly sneering. Her chestnut brown hair was curled, and her pale, flat brown eyes glared at me with a loathing that I couldn't possibly comprehend. Her reflexes were sharp and harsh as she scanned the two items. How someone could take such an intense hatred towards me was confusing.

_Then again, who doesn't hate me these days? God's already shown me what kind of an outcast I am._

_And after tomorrow, so would Jasper and the others_, I realized with a sharp sting to my heart. I steeled myself. I couldn't let myself care. People I loved always ended up getting hurt. Whether it be psychically or emotionally. I was a walking magnet for destruction. A black hole, sucking in people too close to me, destroying them.

Charlie got home half an hour after I finished cooking. The dishes were still steaming. He smiled at me, but his dead eyes held no light. I couldn't smile back. I didn't even try. How could anyone smile to someone they loved, knowing they lived, but only as a shell? A shell of the person they used to be, and thought no one else could see the difference, _you_ could.

I looked out the window halfway through supper, to see the sun begin to set. I jumped up, running to the sink to clean off my plate. Charlie watched my strange behaviour is bewilderment as I ran quickly back and forth through the kitchen, cleaning up everything.

"Bells, what's wrong?" He asked carefully, as if I might snap. I continued what I was doing, answering with a few curt words.

"Cleaning. I'm going to bed."

"But Bella, it's only eight." His tone was puzzled, as if I should surely understand that eight was _much_ too early to be going to be. Even though it really was.

"Doesn't matter. Night Dad." And with that, I sprinted up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Grabbing a pair of pyjamas, I quickly changed in the bathroom, before running a brush through my tangled, sweaty hair. Unfamiliar, hurried brown eyes stared back at me in the mirror. _What had happened to me…?_

Flinging the door to my room open, I froze in terror, quickly shutting my eyes tight at what I had seen. A tall girl sat on my bed, her silky ebony hair running smoothly down her back, stopping at her waist. Though her back was to me, I could clearly see the bluish skin of her arms. She wore a school-girl uniform, with only the shades of blue and black.

"You've kept us waiting Isabella," came her sweet, yet hollow voice. I didn't answer, feeling my way around in the dark. I climbed into my bed once I'd located it. I curled up into a fetal position, feeling the girl still sitting on my bed. I could hear the familiar husky chuckles, as if they were all around me, though my bed was pressed up against the wall.

"Didn't you hear me Bella?" The girl asked again, a question in her dead, innocent voice. I whimpered out a _yes_, wanting _so_ badly to open my eyes, yet knowing I couldn't. I felt the girl get up and start to crawl towards me, until she was lying right beside me.

"Why don't you open your eyes?" She suggested amiably, "You know you want to. You'll feel so much better. Just look at me Bella." Her cool breath blew against my face, chilling me to the very bone. "Don't you want to be friends Bella? Oh wait, how rude of me. You don't even know my name. I like to be called Violet."

"I don't care," I hissed, trying to block out the sound by burying my head under the thick, woollen covers. I heard a shocked gasp from her, but there was a mocking undertone. She chuckled and I flinched.

"That's not very nice Bella." Her tone was warning, unsettling. The cackles began to grow louder, as they did every night. Frigid fingers trailed down my spine, until they grabbed a fistful of the blanket and ripped it off my shaking body. I could hear the faint fluttering of the blanket as it was thrown across the room. Hands were splayed against my arms and legs, frozen and grimy.

Then, as quickly as it started, it stopped.

I could hear the familiar scream of the night wind hitting my window, along with the little droplets of rain, but nothing else. No cackling, no taunting, _nothing_. I frowned, though not daring to open my eyes. I stretched my hand out, but I could no longer feel Violet beside me. I sat upright, and tentatively opened my eyes, looking straight at the floor. Still nothing.

What were they playing at? They'd never done this before. They'd always stayed all night. I cautiously looked up, peering around my room. There was no sign of them. My purple blanket was scrunched up at the bottom of my bed, as if nothing had ever happened. Gingerly, I got up and walked to my door. I needed some air.

I took slow, creaking steps to the bathroom, the night silent with the exception of the pitter-patter of my bare feet against the hardwood floor. The hallway seemed longer than I remembered, the fear clouding my mind. Where were they? They couldn't be hiding. They loved to torment me too much. _Where were they?_

I stepped into the bathroom, flicking on the light. Still nothing. Turning the faucet on, I splashed some cold water onto my face. I snatched up a hand towel close to me, wiping the water out of my eyes. Looking up into the mirror, I shrieked at something behind me.

Two black eyes attached to an eerily gorgeous face. I shut my eyes tight, dropping to the floor. I'd never seen one of their faces before. Not up close. It was devastating. Inhumanly lovely, but all wrong. Her cheekbones were too high, her face too narrow, and her eyes too large. An alien face. Unearthly.

But a rushing question popped into my head. _Why wasn't I dead?_

"You're so lucky Bella," I could hear Violet say; "You just _had_ to look at me through the mirror, didn't you? If only you'd actually look into my eyes." She sighed, sounding severely disappointed. I shook, rocking back and forth. Those eyes…

So dark. Blacker than midnight, dead. No twinkle or any emotion, no colour. They were like a little piece of space, without the stars. _And yet,_ they were stunning. It was funny how something so horrible could be so magnificent. Beauty where there was nothing. I swallowed back the bile threatening to make its way out of my throat.

"What do you want from me?" I whimpered, keeping my hands tight over my eyes, not letting them open for even a millisecond. I could hear Violet laugh at this, her voice so beautiful, so strange, and so terrifyingly vacant of life. There was almost no way to explain just how beautiful and terrible these creatures were. No coherent words.

"Oh Bella sweetie. We want _you_," She said in a perfect imitation of my mother's voice. But still, I could tell it was Violet. No human's voice was missing so much life, "Your fear. Your hatred. Your _life_."

Pained screams echoed around the room. But they weren't mine. My throat was dry, unable to form no sounds or words. They were shrieks of agony and despising. I sobbed, tears leaking down my face. I was afraid. Afraid of what I might see if I opened my eyes. Was hell right here in my bathroom? Who were these poor, hurting people?

Cold hands gripped my face, and my arms fell limply to my sides. But I refused to open my eyes even a fraction. I could feel Violet's icy breath hit my face. My lips felt frozen, as if they should be blue. She growled, a guttural sound.

"Open your eyes Bella," She hissed, "Give in!" I tried to shake my hand, but her strong hands held my face in place,

"Open! Open your eyes! Let me see the light leave those brown orbs!" She screeched, her nails digging into the side of my face, "You're weak! You can't even give us fresh meat to feed off! Broken! Useless! Give up! _You're ours!_"

I felt light-headed as I sobbed hysterically. I could feel myself lose consciousness, and as I slumped unresponsively in her hands, Violet let loose the most terrifying sound I'd ever heard. A screeching noise, high enough to break glass, yet still resonant. And then, I floated off, finding peace once again…

***

When I woke up, I was still in the bathroom, curled up in a ball. Dry tears stained my cheeks, brittle and fleshy. I surveyed my reflection in the mirror. I looked like I'd been through hell itself. My eyes were puffy and bloodshot, sleep caking the lashes. My lips were chapped and cerise from biting at them.

Did I want anyone else to ever have to go through this? No. How could I live with myself if I saw innocent, little Alice walk without a spring in her step? If I saw calm, relaxed Jasper jump at every strange noise, his eyes panicked and wild? If I saw Emmett's eyes, dead and cold? If I saw Edward's hating glare, accusing and cynical? If I saw Rosalie burst into tears at every mention of _sleep?_

I couldn't.

I wouldn't be able to live with myself. If they ended up loathing me for inflicting them with the horrors I lived with, how would I cope? They were the closest thing I'd ever had to _friends_. And so, for their sake, I was going to have to stop them from getting any closer. _Angels shouldn't be friends with demons._

I went through that morning, unfeeling. I made small talk with Charlie, but my answers were clipped, distant. I remembered Alice's voice from yesterday, telling me about her original parents. That must've been how I sounded. Today was oddly sunny. _Someone up there had a sick sense of humour_, I thought, _or they really hate me._

I showered quickly, putting on a flowing, knee-length white skirt and pale green blouse. I grabbed my silver flats, the ones I hadn't worn since I'd arrived in Forks. Today seemed like a good day to wear light, thin clothes. It was surprisingly warm for Forks. Charlie left a bit later than usually, concerned I wasn't feeling well. _You got one thing right…_

I didn't sit with Jasper or Alice first period, much to their shock. Instead I took a seat with the bitter Lauren and her side-kick Jessica Stanley. Neither of them complained about my sudden interest in being around them, and—luckily for me—offered to sit with me in the rest of my classes, since they both happened to be in my other classes. I was relieved. This was going better than I planned.

I could tell Lauren didn't like me, though she hid her contempt behind fake smiled and gushing compliments. The same went for Jessica, though she seemed slightly kinder. At the very least, I was happy that there was no possible way I'd ever get close to them. They were too…phony, and vicious. They almost reminded me of Violet.

I could feel Alice's confused eyes on my back, along with Jasper's suspicious stare, but I didn't look at them. I chatted animatedly with Jessica, pretending to actually be interested in what they were talking about. Finally, Lauren asked me the question I'd been waiting for.

"Why aren't you sitting with the Cullen's today?" She sneered, her lips twisted up in a smirk. She thought _they_ didn't want _me_. I almost laughed. _Good guessing Lauren_, I thought, _but you have the total opposite._

"I didn't feel like it," I lied, crinkling my nose for effect, "They're too strange for my tastes." I heard Alice gasp. So she'd heard me. Somewhere inside my dull chest, I felt complete and utter self-loathing. _Why are you giving up the best thing you've ever had_, my thoughts shrieked, _you're pathetic!_

"I don't know how you could stand to be around them," Jessica said sympathetically, "You're not alone. No one likes those freaky Cullen's. Rosalie and Jasper used to be alright, but now, they're just as bad as Alice and the other two." She leaned forward as if to tell me a secret, "Did you hear Alice can see the future? I think she's just insane. _No one_ can see the future." She laughed, making a strange face to mock Alice.

I didn't want to talk bad about Alice, but I needed to be convincing, "She's a freak. I don't know how her parents stand her." I forced a laugh from my throat, "Maybe that's why none of her relatives wanted her." Jessica snickered and so did Lauren. I finally turned around to look at Jasper and Alice. What I saw nearly killed me.

Alice's eyes were wide, teary and befuddled. Jasper cradled her to his side, all the while murmuring comforting words into her ear. His eyes were different though. He seemed sceptical, as if he didn't believe the words I said were my own. _He didn't believe me_. That knowledge was comforting, as well as distressing. My acting couldn't be that bad, could it? I forced myself to wrinkle my nose in distaste before tearing my eyes away.

I even alienated Angela in Trigonometry. I outright ignored her, speaking only to Jessica, who sat beside me. The one time I did meet Angela's eyes, I scowled, causing the hurt in her pure, blue eyes to increase. _I'm a monster. No matter what I do, I hurt those around me._

Lunch was exceptionally difficult. I could feel the glares of Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie on my back. Of course Alice and Jasper would've told them by now. As much as I wanted to turn around and yell _'I'm sorry, this is all a lie, I don't hate you!_' I knew I couldn't. I needed to make a clean break. I needed to completely remove myself from their lives.

Edward caught me later though, on my way to the girl's washroom, during Biology. He was waiting for me outside my class, his eyes downright furious. Grabbing my upper arm, he dragged me off to a secluded corner. I winced under his tight grip, though knowing I deserved a lot worse. He practically threw me into the corner.

"How dare you speak about Alice that way," He snarled. His emerald eyes were blazing with rage, "How dare you trick her into becoming your friend before treating her like dirt." He looked like he was holding himself back from physically hurting me. _Brotherly_ _instincts_. I inwardly cringed at that though, but kept my face blank.

"Just because I don't want to hang around _freaks_ isn't a reason why I should suddenly be treated like _this_ by _you_," I said coolly. Edward's face contorted, violence written on his face. His lips pulled into a hard line, looking very much like he wouldn't mind snapping my neck.

"She trusted you. Even Rosalie liked you. Rosalie doesn't like many people," He continued, his voice harsh, "Jasper thinks this whole mood swing is bull, but I think otherwise. You're just like Stanley and Mallory. Just another fucking skank." My hand swung out, but Edward caught my wrist inches from his face.

"Don't come near Alice," He warned, "You're lucky my mother taught me to be a gentleman, or else…" He smirked, his smile full of malice. He wanted me to guess what he might do, leave that to my imagination. I braced myself, aiming for a low blow.

"Oh, you mean your dead mother?" I sneered. He let go of my wrist, so quickly that his movements were a blur, he punched a good sized hole into the wall beside my head. I looked frantically to my left, watching the smoke and dust float in the air.

"Says the girl whose mother kicked her out," He growled. My eyes widened. I had said that _I_ wanted to leave, not that she sent me packing. He laughed menacingly, "We all know about that. There aren't any secrets in Forks." And with that he turned and stalked off.

"Fucking moron," I spat for effect. As I hoped, he paused mid-step and looked at me over his shoulder. His expression was cold, his eyes surly. A disturbing smirk found its way onto his face.

"Don't worry, you'll be gone soon. If your _loving_ _mommy_ couldn't stand you, who's to say _daddy_ _dearest_ will be able to?" He scowled, "Besides, you ruin everything you touch. You'll probably end up killing yourself at the rate you're going." He shrugged, "Not that anyone will care."

And then he was gone. I stood there, speechless, and—in a sick way—proud of myself. I'd gotten one of the Cullen's to hate me. But Jasper…Edward said that Jasper doubted me. Why? I'd put on a marvellous performance. Oscar-worthy. Why was it that _Jasper_ could see through it when the others couldn't? I'd have to do something about that.

The rest of the day passed without event. Jessica introduced me to two boys, named Eric and Mike. Neither of them seemed like the type of people I'd willingly be friends with, and their obvious disdain for the Cullen's made it _that_ much easier to dislike them. I thought of the Cullen's and Jasper and Rosalie, as my family. _Estranged family no doubt,_ I thought acerbically.

Charlie was home before I'd finished school, so he'd taken it upon himself to order out. I tried to convince him that he didn't have to, but my words wouldn't sway him. My heart swelled with love. _Oh great Bella, now you're going to end up hurting him too_, I thought, _how long is it going to take before someone's dead?_

They came again that night, but not Violet. I was frightened by her absence. I'd recognized her from earlier years of my childhood and recent months. She'd taken a particular and upsetting liking to me. I knew the creatures haunted other children and adults too, but Violet seemed especially fond of me. Like a pet. Or a delicious bowl of ice cream. She liked being around me.

But she wasn't there. I didn't wait for her to come, but I noticed it. There were others, familiar and unfamiliar cackles, but no sign of Violet. The fact that she'd introduced herself, after all these years was confounding, but this confused me even more. Would no one cease to run away from me?

Or were they just waiting for me to scare them off?

_They watch you,  
Don't look,  
Up,  
Close your eyes._

--

A/N: Okay, another chapter done! This is remarkable people! Two chapters in less than a week. Which is pretty freaking good, because literally, I'm terrible with updating stories. You should all be bloody embarrassed by me. The next chapter should be up soon. Sorry if the poem is a little scraggly. I had a version written down with what parts went in which chapters, but I lost that. So, I had to find the original version in my poem book.

Remember, big hand to **KJS-XOVER**, who motivates me every day. And to Sara, my editor/nagger. They both deserve a round of applause, don't you think? Sara always corrects and gives her advice on how to make it better, and Karla just gives me the motivation to write. She's amazing. _They're_ amazing.

--Breathless Tomb--


	5. Chapter 4: Fruitless Attempts

A/N: Fourth chapter. This time, we're going to be looking a little into Jasper's doubts, and Rosalie's anger. Because we all know what Rosalie is capable of. Coughfivemenmurderedcough. Edward still pretty much hates Bella, but don't worry. It won't be much longer. I also want to focus on Charlie a little. There is a reason that he, along with Bella, is suffering. But that's for a later story. For now, onto the chapter…

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Chapter 4: September 3, 2005—Forks, Washington

**Bella's POV**

--

It was still warm the next day. Once again, I'd gotten through the night, with fresh tears clinging to my cheekbones. Violet hadn't shown up all night. Was she finally tired of me? A quiet, nagging doubt at the back of my head warned me that the reason might be bigger than anything I expected. I shuddered, trying not to let my imagination run wild.

Charlie was gone. No note this time. Just gone. No breakfast ready and made for me on the table. The only evidence I could find that he hadn't been kidnapped, was that there was no sign of forced entry and the cruiser wasn't in the driveway. I wasn't bitter about not having breakfast ready for me, but the sudden change in Charlie's demeanour scared me. Edward's words came to me.

_If your loving mother couldn't stand you, who's to say daddy dearest will be able to?_

I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to something—commit an act so violent, that no one would ever try to get close to me again. Everyone ended up hurting me, and I ended up hurting everyone. Isolation was all I asked for. To just get away from everyone else. _Two years Bella_, I reminded myself.

The outfit seemed to jump out at me. A pair of jean capris and a simple blue top. I was never very preoccupied with clothing—I still wasn't—but lately, I needed things to consume my time with. Take my mind off life, for even a minute. I couldn't draw for my life, so that was out of the picture, pun not intended. There was always writing—I was more of a creative than athletic person—but I'd never tried writing as a hobby before…

I found Jessica quickly, sitting on the hood of Mike's car. I rolled my eyes before plastering on a fake smile. How anyone could be so desperate was beyond me. Jessica saw me coming and raised her hand to wave. Her hazel eyes were heavily coated with make-up. _So this must've been what Edward meant when he called her a skank._

"Hey Jessica," I said in a falsely cheery voice, walking up to them. She beamed, as if she'd honestly heard the best thing ever heard before. I nearly gagged. The sight was repulsive. Her beady little eyes crinkled with glee.

"Bella," She squealed, jumping down from the car and running to me, engulfing me in a tight hug. I awkwardly patted her on the back, though kept my face content, seeing Lauren, Mike, and Eric watching my suspiciously. After yesterday's performance, they were slightly convinced I genuinely didn't like the Cullen's, but they were still keeping a close eye on me. _Yeah, because the worst I could do would be to sign your death sentence._

"_So_, how are you today?" Jessica asked me on our way back to Mike and the others. I pretended to think about it before shrugging.

"Tired I guess," I said nonchalantly. From the corner of my eye, I saw the Cullen's—and only the Cullen's—walking towards the entrance of the school. Edward's head was cocked, as if he were listening to every word I was saying. Testing that theory, I quickly added, "And still miffed over yesterday. Cullen's getting on my nerves." I scowled for effect.

"The Cullen's get on everyone's nerves," sniggered Mike, who was tossing a football between his two hands. _Classy Michael_…He shot a smile at me, "But which one this time?" I saw Edward stop the others and pretended to talk unflappable with Alice and Emmett. _So he _was_ listening._

"Edward," I grimaced, "He went all ape shit on me yesterday, saying I used the psychic freak and her itty-bitty feelings were hurt." I mock pouted, drawing a cackle from Lauren. No one noticed when I flinched, just like no one—apart from me—noticed when Edward stiffened as I insulted Alice. _God just strike me down now. You know you want to._

Jessica sighed longingly, "He's so gorgeous though." He voice was wistful, "If only he wasn't so protective of the freak, then maybe he might have some friends." She seemed truly disappointed by the fact. I scoffed internally. Even if Edward wasn't as 'popular' as Jessica—and I said that with quotations—he had ten times more friends than Jessica. Any one of the Cullen's—plus Jasper and Rosalie—were more of a person than a hundred Mikes or Laurens.

But instead, I simply laughed and said, "What a shame." Mike frowned and I nearly groaned in realization. _Don't tell me this douche has a crush on me?_ Edward shifted, so I could see the side of his face. He looked indisputably repulsed and fuming. I almost frowned. No face so perfect should show such emotions. I wanted to smooth out the wrinkles forming on his face and tell him that _everything was going to be okay…_

Even if it wasn't.

_No Bella_, I inwardly scolded myself, _remember the façade, remember your objective damn it_. Besides, why was I feeling this way towards Edward? He was just another boy. A beautiful boy, but still, just another one of them. Nothing special. Nothing to get excited over. The thoughts felt wrong in my head. Diseased. This time I did frown. Eric immediately picked up on my change in character. _Stupid nerd…_

"What's wrong Bella?" He asked, his brow furrowing. He did seem to care, but it could've been an act. The world was only a stage and we each had a role to play. I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough, so I said the thing that was on my mind.

"Cullen is listening to us."

Each of their heads snapped to where the Cullen's were standing, looking like royalty among the poor. Mike glowered, before yelling, "Hey Cullen! Why don't you go _fuck off _and listen in on someone else's conversation, will you? And tale the freak and the bear with you too!" Though all of their last names were Cullen, Edward knew it was him Mike was speaking to. Mike's words were vicious. I wanted to scream at him, _hurt_ him. But I didn't.

Edward glared at each of them, his gaze smouldering even in livid anger. When his eyes landed on me, I could see secrets. Secret promises. Promises meant for _me_, and _me_ alone. I let out a low grown, too low for any of them to hear. Not another meeting.

Emmett and Edward looked like they might just barge over and have a few choice words with _Mike_, but tiny Alice ushered them away. She glanced at me, her eyes full of sadness. Subconsciously, I offered her an apologetic smile, without meaning to. Her expression turned confused before she beamed brightly, as if she'd swallowed the sun. Horror clouded my face. _I'd made a mistake_. I looked back at the rest of them, to see if they'd seen my slip and Alice's grin.

But they were simply talking amongst themselves. I sighed, then looked back at Alice. She was still staring at me as she walked away. Her eyes were calculating, considering. She was trying to figure out my secret. I was almost certain of it. _Dumbass, she can't know! You mustn't let her find out!_

But it wasn't until third-period Trigonometry that I realized just how determined the Cullen's were to finding out my secret. _Stupid, interfering, prying Cullen's. _Didn't they understand reason? Denial?_ Rejection?_

Edward was transferred into my class, and specifically asked for _me_ as a partner. I grudgingly gathered together my stuff and moved to an empty desk beside Edward. He kept on a charming, dazzling face—a face that could easily fool anyone else—but I saw the resolve in his eyes. Just how much would he give to find my secret? Perchance, his life?

"Hello Bella," He said civilly, as if he _didn't_ want to rip out my throat. I watched him warily as I stacked my books on the opposite side of the table. He smiled up happily, _ever so_ innocent. There was an undertone in his voice, less violent than yesterday, but in no way sweet.

"Edward," I said in response, yet, I angled my chair away from him, sitting on it as far as I could without falling down. I could see him smirk from my peripheral view. I rolled my eyes, grabbing my textbook and opening it to the appropriate page. I _tried_ to listen to Mr Varner, but my attention was otherwise occupied by Edward. Currently, he was pulling a sheet of paper out of his notebook.

I averted my eyes, trying to give him some privacy. Whatever he was writing was none of my business. I could hear the fierce, yet delicate scribbling of his writing, but I paid it no mind. I wouldn't care. I _couldn't_ care. I'd learned long ago not to pry where I ought not put my nose. Questions almost never had the answers you were expecting.

But strangely enough, I found myself wishing I could see what he was writing.

Because he was interesting…and perfect…and driven…and obviously intelligent. And he was so much more. He was the epitome of mystery, the God of captivation. His mind was an enigma, and I wanted to know every twist and turn of it. No one had ever so unwillingly seized my attention like this. If Edward had any idea just how…dazzling he was—as he obviously had no idea—no one would stand a chance against him.

_Bella,_ my mind warned, _he's a guy. A nice guy. Two things you never mess with. Romance only equals disaster with you. Just like everything else. You're a walking time bomb just waiting to explode. So push people as hard as you can so they don't get hurt. Besides, why would he want you? You? Plain old Bella?_ My mind laughed at me.

But then I felt a slight scrape against my pinkie. A paper cut. I looked down in shock, and sure enough, beside my hand, was the same paper Edward had ripped from his notebook. I glanced up, confused, but not angry. But he was facing Mr Varner, the picture perfect imagine of innocence. But I could see the signs that the paper was meant for me. His palm was on the desk, facing upwards in a clear gesture that mean, _please proceed…_ I pulled the paper close to me and read.

_You're hiding something. _

It wasn't a question. He _knew_ there was something I wasn't telling them. I fingered my pencil, fiddling with it. _What to tell them?_ There wasn't much I could say. I noticed how lovely his scripture was; strangely elegant for a man. Too perfect. Like him. I replied, pushing the paper back to him.

_**What makes you think that?**_

He took a moment to answer. His expression was smooth, as if he'd been expecting my response. A question for a question. Not very ingenious, but good for a moment's notice. He slipped his hands under the desk and handed me the paper, his hand grazing mine. The same electric current passed through our touching digits. I pulled back sharply, glaring at him. _Screw him for making me feel like this,_ I thought.

_Alice told me. And Jasper has always been sensitive to people's emotions. You're no exception Isabella. You owe us an explanation. Especially Alice. You really hurt her._

His expression softened as I read his last words. I didn't know what to say or write. He loved Alice. She was his twin, _literally_ his other half. Anything I could say or do seemed so insignificant compared to his love for his sister. So, I answered him back cryptically.

_**You're a good brother. Honestly. But sometimes the truth is too much to handle. Sometimes, you can't make things better by getting answers.**_

He peeked over at me, his expression utterly bewildered by my strange words. I avoided his piercing gaze. His eyes scared me. They were too…knowing. It was like he could see right through me. Right into my rotting soul. The feeling of exposure was coming back to me.

_The only thing I can't handle are lies. And that's all I'm getting from you. For our sake. For __Alice's__ sake. Please._

_**Edward. Stop. Accept the lies please. Don't beg. My mouth is sealed. Please grasp that there are some things even **__**you**__** can't save Alice from if she knew of.**_

_Isabella. I know you don't have siblings, so you can't possibly understand, much less a twin. __Tell me__. I won't tell anyone your secret. Nor will any of us, including Jasper and Rose. Isabella. Bella. Please._

I flinched at his written words. _He doesn't know anything,_ the demon that was my mind hissed, _his petty begging is just that. Petty. He thinks of you as a naïve child, though that is exactly what he is. Tell him nothing. Nothing is what he deserves._

_**No. Nothing. You know absolutely nothing of what I know. So shut up and stop pestering me. I admit, I am hiding something. I don't hate Alice. Or any of you. You're like my family now. Which is exactly why I can't be around you.**_

Edward looked taken aback by my note, but in a way, relieved. He crumpled up the note in his hand, tucking it into his pocket, but I could tell he wasn't done pleading. He turned to me, his emerald eyes wide and trusting. So trusting. I saw no malice in them now. Only amity. I recoiled. I was tainting this angel just by being _around_ him. I whimpered in self-hatred.

"Please," He whispered, breaking my train of thoughts. His voice as musical and sweet, like honey over velvet. Why hadn't I noticed this before? I couldn't say no to him. I couldn't deny him anything. Not even if I wanted to.

Which, of course, I did.

But I could give myself _time_. A year. Or half a year. Hopefully, he'd forget by then. But I couldn't be sure. I had to—at the very least—_try_ to put him off. But before I could answer him, Mr Varner's voice addressed us.

"Mr Cullen, is there something you'd like to share with the class?" His voice was sarcastically smug, enough to make anyone angry, especially someone with a temper like Edward's. I checked his face anxiously, but he was mysteriously calm and collected as he turned to Mr Varner. There was confidence in his eyes—but not cocky confidence, a _knowing_ confidence.

"No, not at all Mr Varner," He said, "I was simply asking Isabella a question. But don't worry, you'll be the first to know if I ever have something to share." He smiled, the definition of polite. I could _never_ have done something like that. Have the courage to speak to a teacher so, yet have the diligence to still force myself to be utterly courteous. Edward was something else. Mr Varner's mouth opened and closed a few times before he resumed teaching, still fuming.

I pulled out my own sheet of paper and wrote a quick message. I passed it to him seconds before the bell rang. I gathered together my books and waked to my locker, not once looking back. I might've bought myself some time, but I couldn't be sure,

_**Give me a month. One month. Then I'll see if I can tell you. I need to think. You can tell the others what I said, but make sure to tell them I need time. Please. By the way, call my Bella. Isabella is too formal.**_

I neatly tucked my books into my locker and took out my wallet. Though I wasn't in the mood to eat today, I knew I'd be starving come the end of the day if I didn't munch on _something_. Shutting my locker, I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sight of Edward leaning casually against the wall, looking every bit like the God he was. I placed a hand over my still furiously beating heart.

"Jesus Edward," I breathed, not looking at him directly in the eye—as I had a problem with coherency when I did—, "What's with you and scaring me?"

"I'm sorry," He apologized. His face was blank, but the amusement in his eyes was clear, "I wanted to know if you wanted to sit with us today. Now that I'm sure you weren't being willingly cruel, I have no qualms about you." He shot me a crooked grin that was every bit as breath-taking as he was. I frowned in thought.

"I don't think I can," I said, resisting the urge to jump up and down at his request. But I was torturing myself enough without the added pain of being around them. Edward placed his thumb underneath my chin when I looked away. He lifted my head so I was staring straight into his uncomfortably wise and ever-seeing eyes.

"Perhaps you're right," He admitted, "But perhaps you're also wrong. Stop thinking about _others_ for a minute and think of _yourself_. What does Isabella Swan want?" He tilted his head slightly. I got lost in their mesmerizing colour, saying what I'd been thinking the whole time.

"I want to sit with you."

Edward grinned, dropping his hand from my face. I wanted to protest, but I held my tongue. He turned around and began to walk away. I turned back to the stuff in my hands, pushing my wallet into my pocket, along with my iPod. I heard his footsteps come to a halt, so I looked up in confusion. Wasn't he leaving to go find his sister? Edward's face was mockingly outraged.

"Aren't you coming?" He asked, holding out his hand. I walked forward, taking it. This felt right. This felt like home. This felt like being rescued after years of drowning in the deepest oceans. This felt like being pulled out after suffocating in a fire. This felt like being helped up after I'd fallen down too many times to get myself back up.

This felt _safe_.

***

The first thing I saw when I entered the cafeteria, hand-in-hand with Edward was Rosalie's frosty glare. It was impossible to miss; her swirling, dark purple eyes, so unusual in their colour, yet perhaps more beautiful than she herself was. They were eyes of betrayal and distrust, of rage and disgust. She didn't just _not like me_. She _hated_ me. I was the one element that had _really_ hurt her small family. I was the enemy.

"You better be prepared for Rosalie inflicted injuries," I warned Edward, as the closer we got to the table. The angrier Rosalie seemed to get. He did look slightly worried, but didn't stop. I had a feeling that even if _I_ stopped, he would continue to drag me to the table.

"Personally, I'm more worried about my car than myself," He said casually, his eyes narrowing at Rosalie's stone cold glower. I was confused.

"She'd take a bat to it?"

He shuddered, "I wish. That can be repaired. Rose is a whiz with mechanics. Trust me. She could do a lot more than _beat up_ my car. A _lot_ more." I blinked. Rosalie, a car genius? No way. It was _impossible_. Beauty queens like her didn't _work on cars_. They shopped, and drank lattés. The hardest thing they did was _donate money to charity_.

Emmett was beside her, his hand resting on her arm. He stared at me too, but, though his eyes seemed slightly betrayed, I could also seem some love in his khaki orbs. What was with this family and _love?_ They couldn't consider me family after what I'd done. It seemed like a double standard coming from me, but _they_ at least didn't betray me like I had to them.

"They all consider you our second sister," He whispered in my ear. I shivered at the warmth, the suddenly went cold. He considered me a sister too? _Give it a rest Bella,_ the demon scoffed, _he would never like you beyond family. Please._

I had to admit, the demon was right this time. People like Edward didn't like people like me. Not beyond family. Not beyond friends. People like Edward went with people like Rosalie. Though Rosalie herself was obviously meant for Emmett, people _like_ her, beautiful, statuesque, were meant for Edward.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Rosalie hissed, never lifting her glare off me. I shrunk back into myself. _Rosalie frightens me just as much as Violet._ Edward squeezed my hand in reassurance. I looked up at his face, and his emerald eyes were staring down on me, full of protectiveness, an exact replica of Rosalie's, but his was directed for me. He looked back up at Rosalie.

"She's sitting with us from now on," He said simply. I liked the way he held my hand. Like he never wanted to let go. Rosalie gave him an incredulous stare before a look of realization flashed before her eyes. She scoffed.

"I thought you said Jasper's theory was bull," She lifted a perfectly plucked eyebrow, "What made you change your mind?" I saw Emmett begin to rub her arm comfortingly, trying to calm her down.

"Alice. And Isabella admitted to me." I shot him an annoyed look at using my full name. He smiled, and my irritation was quickly erased. In fact, I couldn't even remember why I was angry in the first place. Emmett spoke for the first time, his voice lower and more sombre than I remembered.

"So, you _are_ hiding something."

I gave a curt nod, meeting two waiting stares. But I said nothing more. If I wouldn't tell Edward anything, I certainly wouldn't be telling them a thing. I lowered my eyes; I couldn't look at them now. Not as I betrayed them once again.

"Well?" asked Rosalie, "Isn't she going to tell us?" Edward stiffened, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out our two sheets of papers. I really couldn't look at them now. I couldn't look at Rosalie's furious scowl and Emmett's disappointed eyes. I heard the paper being opened, and then there was a moment where they read our small, but meaningful conversation.

"One month?" Emmett sighed in exasperation, "You promise? Bella?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"If we don't hear in exactly one month," Rosalie threatened, "Consequences be damned, I'll _force_ the truth out of you." Just like Edward had, she let my imagination figure out the threat for me. I had no doubt that she would follow through with her warning. One month.

"I know," I whispered again, and Edward pulled out a seat for me, which I took. Rosalie never relaxed her stiff position, her eyes never softening. I'd expected that. Emmett on the other hand, looked appeased and thoughtful. He turned to Rosalie.

"Rose, be civil please," He said, interlocking their fingers. I saw Rosalie's shoulders slump a bit, the tension flowing out. Emmett was a goof, but he had his moments. I'd have to remember that. I gave him a small smile.

"I'll be civil," She finally said, "But not kind. Don't expect to be best friends or anything Bella." The last part of her sentence was directed at me and I quietly nodded. I deserved as much. Actually, I deserved a lot worse. Edward never loosened our fingers, keeping me feeling safe and protected.

I felt them before anyone else did. I felt the two of them enter the cafeteria before Emmett or Rosalie ever saw them. The two hardest people to talk to yet. The two people I was closest to—apart from Edward and Charlie. Alice and Jasper.

"Hello people," came Alice's twinkling voice. A chair to my right scraped out and little Alice bounced into it, Jasper taking a seat beside her. Her elfish face was elated, yet wary. Did she expect me to betray her again? Did she _see_ me betraying her again? "Hi Bella."

"Hello Alice?" I smiled at her, trying to convey without words how sorry I was. How many regrets I was holding.

"So you don't hate me?" She asked.

"No."

"You don't think I'm a freak?"

"Not at all."

"And you'll tell us in a month?"

"…Yes."

Her face relaxed into a beaming smile, "I know you're unsure about telling us Bella, but we can handle it. You're our family. I _saw_ you coming, remember? I meant that in more than one way. We've been waiting for you. For over two years." I must've looked utterly disbelieving, so Alice continued to explain what she had just said.

"Edward lied to you. Only _we_ know about your mother kicking you out. I saw her make the decision to send you here two years to this day. Obviously, I didn't see all _this_ happening, but I saw you becoming part of our family. We've all know everything about you since that day. Rosalie and Edward were sceptical, but I guess they understand now, right?" Both Rosalie and Edward nodded, their expression solemn.

Edward's eyes had the same mysterious look in them that I could never quite understand. I saw a mix of emotions, so blended that it was incredibly difficult to pick them out. There was happiness, and…protectiveness, and…bewilderment, and…amazement, and so many more. There was the same love that Alice and Emmett had too, but somehow slightly different.

So he had lied to me. To make me paranoid. To make me wonder how they'd figured it out. I was hurt, but then again, _I deserved it_. Jasper must've noticed the pain on my face, because he quickly backtracked Alice's words, trying to ease my mind a little bit.

"Don't blame Edward, we told him to say whatever he had to say in order to get you to come around. I told them you were lying, that there were other motivations behind your sudden change in attitude," His voice was begging me to see his side of things, "It's as much our fault as it is his. Don't be angry at him for lying. He doesn't deserve it."

I looked up at the bronze-haired angel's face. It was regretful and anguished. He leaned down and brushed a lock of my thick brown hair away from my ear. His whisper was too low for the others—as close as they were—to hear.

"I'm sorry Isabella. I didn't mean to make you upset. I was trying to protect my family. I don't want you to hate me." His voice was so sincere that it nearly brought me to tears, but still, underneath the table I slowly drew my hand away. He tried to grab it back, but I rested my hand in my lap. I looked up into his hurt eyes.

"I don't blame you," I whispered, "I deserved it."

_And fall,  
Into the  
deepest waters,  
Drown,  
Never resurface._

--

A/N: There, done. Aren't I making Bella all Edward-like, with the masochism, and self-hate, and thinking she's a monster? I'm sorry, but that tickled me pink. I also liked how there are certain parts in this story that are purposely copied—or similar enough—to _**Twilight**_. It makes me laugh.

So, review, review. I've got some tricks up my sleeve, don't you worry. There's a meaning to this story. You'll see in the end. So, as you could see, Edward _possibly_—maybe, maybe not—loves Bella, because he's already known about her for _two years_. Bella on the other hand is…unsure. If you like Alice and Jasper as much as I do, then you'll love them as well in this story. They all seem to just…create themselves.

--Breathless Tomb--


	6. Chapter 5: Hapless Situations

A/N: Fifth chapter now. Isn't it nice to see how productive I'm getting? I'm so giddy right now. The ideas just keep coming (I said that in King Julian's voice. From _**Madagascar**_. Freaking _love_ that movie). Anyways, this is the next chapter. If you want regular updates of what I'm doing, shameless chapter spoilers, and such, click on the link on my profile. Anywho, onto the chapter…

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Chapter 5: September 3 and 4, 2005—Forks, Washington

**Bella's POV**

--

I couldn't speak to Edward. Not because I was angry with him—which I was obviously not. Not because I felt betrayed by him—because I had done far worse. But because, more and more now, Edward was beginning to remind me of myself. And that scared me. I could see my emotions—mostly—in his eyes, my attitude also his attitude.

I stuck to Alice and Jasper like glue, avoiding Edward and Jessica. She was baffled, clearly not bright enough to understand that I had been lying to her. A strange feeling settled into my stomach. I hadn't yet apologized to Angela. I promised myself I would sometime today, before day's end.

In Biology, I made it my personal mission not to leave class. The last thing I needed right now was another Edward-Meeting. Angela sat alone, her head low, reading her book. I sat beside her and smiled shyly when she looked up in confusion. There was _no way_ I would ever tell her my secret. Even if Alice was small, she was strong. Angela was like me…easily broken.

"Hello," I said gently. Angela looked gobsmacked. She obviously expected me to snap at her, or knock her books down. The kind of stuff Jessica and Lauren did to her. The kind of devils they were. The devil I almost became. I winced internally.

"Hi Bella," Angela whispered. Her face was kind but worried. Apparently, a lot of kids had pegged me as bipolar. I could never quite make up my mind, shifting between liking and hating the Cullen's. Between being a fake Barbie, and the broken, reserved Bella. How sad.

"I have to apologize Angela," I said, "I was needlessly mean to you yesterday. I'm so sorry. I'm going through a crisis right now, but you don't deserve to be behaved so rudely to. Can you forgive me?" I hoped she could.

"It's alright Bella. We aren't perfect," She smiled, more sure now. "People make mistakes. Don't put yourself down too hard. Life goes on." She paused, then chuckled, "I'm sorry for those cryptic comments. I do that a lot. My mom calls me her walking fortune cookie."

So maybe we weren't completely alike. She was light, carefree. Easy to break, but also easy to mend. She was strong. Stronger than me. But it was hard to see just looking at her. I felt like I could talk to Angela for years and still never know the real her. Her expression turned bashful.

"If you don't mind me asking, what is this crisis you're going through?" She backtracked when she saw my hesitant face, "You don't have to, I just thought you might feel better. In my opinion, letting out steam to a person not involved always makes me feel better." Her blue eyes were like beacons, showing me the way in the dark without Edward. She was right. It would feel better.

"My whole life I've been hiding a…secret. A secret too powerful and dangerous to tell anyone. But the secret is what keeps me from getting close to people. Th Cullen's—and you—were the first people who I've ever gotten remotely close to. But…I don't want to hurt you. I hurt everyone I love. And I can't hurt you guys." My lips pulled down, "Besides Charlie, you're all I have. That's why I purposely acted rude yesterday. I was _trying_ to push you away. But I can't anymore." Tears rode to my eyes.

Angela remained silent for awhile, "Maybe you're blaming yourself too much. If the secret is so important, why don't you keep it that way? A secret." I shook my head sombrely.

"You don't understand. It's something bigger. Bigger than anything you could possibly imagine. It would be obvious after a while. It's impossible to guess, but I doubt I could keep quiet forever. And I mean that literally."

"I do have a suggestion," She said, "But you won't like it. You don't like being dependant, even in the slightest, do you?" I shook my head silently, "Then I'm right. But, even though you're probably a suffer-in-silence kind of person, everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. A hand to hold them up."

"What are you suggesting Angela?"

"I've noticed how close you've become with Edward. There's something special with you two. Something I've never seen before. And though you might not realize it now, you _need_ him. I'm a very spiritual person, I've always believed in soulmates. He's yours. I'm certain of it. You need him like air. _He_ could help you more than anyone else on Earth."

"_Angela, what are you suggesting?" _I was getting scared now. The knowledge she'd just said sank into me. _My soulmate? Edward?_ Could it be true? While it was true that I did feel remarkably safe around Edward, was that…_love?_ Real love, not family love. I blinked, stunned inside. But Angela was putting something off. Something she thought would upset me.

"Tell Edward. Tell him your secret."

***

Four days. I'd been in Forks only four days, and already my life was more complicated than it had ever been. Forks was my hell on Earth. But it was also my heaven. But now, Angela was on my case as well. Everyone wanted to know the secret, but unlike others, Angela wanted _me_ to tell _someone else_. Edward. My supposed 'soulmate'. But was he really?

I was coming apart at the seams, breaking into pieces. Friendship wasn't just healing me; it was slowly tearing me apart. I was now too afraid to close my eyes, for every time I did, I could see the familiar orbs of shimmering emerald. Watching me. But opening my eyes didn't help me any better,

I drove home like lightning. I couldn't look at Edward. Everything was just going so wrong, so fast. _No wonder_ he reminded me of myself—if Angela was right—it was because he _was_ me. A part of me. A half of me. A soulmate. The term sounded strange on my tongue. Did I believe in soulmates? I couldn't give an answer to that question. There was no denying that Edward felt…different to me. But…on a scale that powerful?

Maybe.

Charlie was home when I finished cooking supper. I heard him hang up his gun belt, not bothering to remove the bullets. He obviously didn't think I was young enough to accidently kill myself, and not depressed enough to voluntarily pull the trigger. _Don't put money on the latter Chief_. I heard his clunking boots walk into the kitchen. I kept my eyes on my food, taking tiny forkfuls of rice.

"Hey Bells" He said nervously, the same note in his voice as had been in Angela's. Did everyone think I had such a short temper? I smiled, but didn't look up. I still remembered this morning. _Calm down Bella, you're being ridiculous_, I thought, _there's probably a good reason he left so early._

"Hello Dad." He frowned, before taking a seat across from me. His eyes glazed over at the sight of the rice and chicken brochettes. I noticed how he completely disregarded his vegetables, which in turn made me frown. "Hey, don't forget your greens or no desert." Charlie grumbled, but listening to my words and ate his vegetables. I giggled at the sheer absurdity of it all.

"Sorry about this morning," Charlie suddenly apologized, "We got a call from some girl. Claimed she couldn't sleep, but wouldn't tell us why. I recommended a psychologist, and she recommended I shoot her." His face was distressed, pained. He looked like he might be sick right there on the table. I probably looked the same.

"What did you say her name was?" I whispered, not really looking anywhere. I dropped my fork, letting my hands rest on my lap. Charlie sent me a bewildered look, but I couldn't react to it. _There was someone else._

"I didn't." He frowned. Finally, my eyes met his. I could see his dark eyes confused, but expecting. Waiting for an answer. I repeated what I had just said to him, but in a harder voice.

"What did you say her name was?"

His brow furrowed deeper, "Bella, I really don't think this is necessary. We've already recommended her to a good psychologist. A shame though, so young." The last part didn't seem to be meant for me. Charlie was now off in his own world, thinking about the nameless girl. So much like me. I was shaking now, in fear, anger, and…anticipation.

"_What's her name?"_

He took a deep breath, still not quite understanding why I was acting so unusual. I didn't care. I was too taken up by the demon of my thoughts. _You can help her_, it told me, _finally, an ally. Someone exactly like you._

"Leah Clearwater."

***

I didn't sleep that night. Not a wink. And not because of the creatures, who visited me again, as usual. They took a distant part of my mind, a part capable of dealing with them. But because my thoughts were consumed by the mystery of this _Leah_. So like me, suffering in silence, not able to tell anyone. Except those who already knew. A curse, to live in a world where all you want to do is die.

But she was a newcomer. She'd only _just_ learned about the creatures. That was why she lost it and called the police. I was going to have to teach her how to deal with it. If I ever met her. But Charlie knew about her. I would to ask him. I would have to ask. She needed to know more. No one should suffer in ignorance.

The dawn awoke me, reds and oranges splashed together on the early morning sky. The surface of my window sill was covered with a thin sheet of morning dew, slick and gleaming in the sunlight. A raven was perched on the sill, its endless black eyes staring straight at me. I sat up calmly, careful not to startle it.

It was easy to see, in the dim, gaudy light, why I'd always found ravens so…_striking_. They were so commonly disregarded, as nothing more than scavengers and pests. But the grace they had and the confidence which they carried themselves with…it was beautiful. And it was so intelligent. Its dark eyes pierced through me, the expression on its face easy to read.

_Pitiful._

I lowered my head. Even the raven could get my existence right. It was pitiful. Downright deplorable…to be so afraid. Of such pathetic creatures. Why, they were nothing more than parasites, preying on fear. But…even knowing that, I couldn't stop the overwhelming feeling of terror that overtook me every night. _So feeble Bella_, the demon crooned.

"There's no need for your accusing looks," I spoke to the raven. "I know I'm weak. At least I have the courage to admit it, but you _are_ right. I shouldn't be so afraid after all this time." The raven gave a curt nod, looking away from me, but never left. I got up, making my bed. My mind kept running over things.

"I should visit Leah," I said offhandedly, "It is Saturday after all. What else do I have to do?" I watched the raven from the corner of my eye, "Maybe this will help me. I'm willing to at least talk to her. I should try to reassure her. It won't do to have another coward, like myself."

I walked over to my bureau, pulling out a pair of jeans and a random shirt. I turned back to the raven, sitting down on my bed. I studied it, watching the way its coal black feathers had a tint of plum to them in the light. Its eyes were dark, but not empty like the creatures'. They were familiar.

"Have I seen you before?" I asked, my voice curious. "I seem to remember you from somewhere. You're not like the other ravens. You're different." The raven turned back to me, almost looking like it had a proud smile on its face. Finally, I remembered, "Yes, I've definitely seen you before. You've been following me for a long time, watching over me. Ever since…that day…" I trailed off, forcing the memories back. They were much too painful to think about.

"Are you guarding me from something?" The raven nodded, its eyes suddenly filled with despair. "Something important, I bet." I pondered this for a second, "Does it have anything to do with why Violet has stopped coming?" Once again, the raven nodded, seeming to be trying to communicate with me through its eyes. I looked away. There was nothing but truth in its wise eyes.

_Destruction._

"Thank you," I said sincerely, "Truly. You may leave when you please. But, if you don't mind, I'd like it if you came back soon. It's a comfort to have someone who understands." I could hear the flapping of wings, and why I turned back, the raven was gone. I sighed. There was no telling if I'd ever see it again.

Charlie was already up by the time I made it downstairs to the kitchen. I gave him a small smile, fixing myself a bowl of cereal. Charlie drank a mug of tea, his eyes a million years away. I soon found myself stirring my spoon aimlessly in my cereal. Today felt…wrong. I wasn't hungry. Or anything. It was like someone hit an off switch me. I just felt colder than usual. More hollow than normal.

"You have plans today?" Charlie finally broke the silence, but his eyes were still off, not really looking at one particular thing, but rather at _everything_. It was like he was seeing the universe fully, and not just the small parts that we were so used to. I shook my head, looking out the window.

"Not really," I admitted, "But I was thinking, I might go visit that Leah girl sometime today. My schedule's empty anyway. There really isn't anything else for me to do." Charlie finally met my eyes, his lips tugging down into a frown. I took a bite of my cereal, chewing slowly.

"I don't think you should Bella," Charlie said disapprovingly, "Leah Clearwater isn't mentally stable. It might not be safe for you." Though he was trying to be fatherly, he should've understood by now that there were some things about me that he simple would never understand. I spaced off for a minute.

"I want to talk to her," I said softly, "I want to help her. I can better than anyone." A look of realization floated onto his face. Charlie always knew there was something about me that I'd never told him. And he respected that. He must've been the only one who did. I thanked him for it.

"Oh," His voice sounded strained, as if he'd been punched in the gut, "I see. She's like you?" He eyed my face, not sure of what to say to the announcement I'd just made. I got up, bringing my bowl to the sink, cleaning off the remaining cereal and milk. I looked up at to the ceiling.

"She's _exactly_ like me," I whispered.

"Leah lives in La Push, the Quileute reservation," Charlie said after a moment of tension-filled silence, "I'll give you the address. I still think you shouldn't go though." His head raised a fraction, "You say the two of you are the same. I think different." He looked me in the eye, "You handle this _problem_ in silence. It's easy to see you suffering if you look hard enough, but you're not martyr. Leah is…wild. She doesn't handle it as well. You could…help her. But she doesn't look like the type to be tamed easily."

I nodded, listening to his words, "I understand. I won't let myself get hurt. I'll be back before sunset. Thank you." I smiled earnestly, grateful for Charlie once again. Over and over he showed me just what I was missing from my life before Renée sent me away. I would never truly be able to thank him. It would be an impossible mission, trying to show him how much I owe him…

I watched his eyes go dead again.

_Then again…how do you repay the dead?_

***

I stood outside a modest house, my hand up, ready to knock. I hesitated. If I knocked, there'd be no going back. Not only was I terrible at making excuses, but I would never, ever lie my way out of helping someone protect themselves against the creatures. I knew what they were capable of. I had lived in fear…for years. I took a deep breath and rapped twice on the door.

There was silence for a few minutes, before the door opened up to show a tragically beautiful girl. Her hair was chocolate brown, and silky in texture. She was tall, much taller than myself, and she was—or had been—obviously an athlete. But her face was cynical, her eyes burning and her expression twisted up into a sneer. I could see the familiar pain and fear in her bitter eyes.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Leah snapped, cross her arms in a protective stance. The question made me flinch. There was so much hate and malice in her lovely voice. It was too bad; she could've been a delightful person to be around if it weren't for the creatures. I held out my hand.

"My name is Isabella Swan, but you can call me Bella."

She looked at me like she might spit in my face. I slowly drew my hand back. She shook, her hands clenched into tight fists. The clouds were covering the sun now, giving a much more threatening appearance to her harsh face. I guess she remembered my last name.

"So you're Charlie Swan's daughter?" She hissed, "Are you some kind of psychiatrist? Trying to _help me_ get to sleep? Well, you _can't_." She was seething, literally looking like she was about to burst, "You people just don't get it! You _can't_ help me. If _Chief Swan_ wasn't threatening to send my brother jail for life if I so much as hurt myself, I'd be _dead_ by now."

I shook my head, putting my palm against my face and sighing, "You're handling this all wrong. I know I'm not one to talk, but you're worse than _me_." I paused, then quickly mumbled, "This is going to be more complicated than I expected." Leah just looked confused.

"What the hell are you talking about? You and me have _nothing_ in common, so don't go acting like we," She growled, reaching behind her, ready to slam the door in my face." I looked straight into her eyes, which narrowed.

"Yes, we really do," I said gravelly "Because I see them too. The creatures."

Leah baulked, drawing her hands close to her chest, directly above her heart. She stared at me wide-eyed, horror and disbelief swirling in her dark coffee orbs. She tried to speak, but no words could escape her lips. She quickly ushered me into the house, locking the door, then running around the house to shut all the windows. She motioned me into a room that I assumed was the living room.

"You see them?" She breathed, looking at me with a strange expression on her face. It was almost like…she'd found a comrade, someone who could empathize with her. _Well, that's what I'm here for_. I gave a short nod at her question, sitting down on a long, felt couch.

"Since I was five," I said, "Someone…told me, not knowing that they—the creatures—would come after me, regardless if I believed the story or not. To this day, I've been living with them. The person who told me has since long gone." Leah's jaw dropped. She didn't say anything.

"I've seen them for three months now" She finally whispered, "A friend of mine—his name is Paul—was acting odd. Angry, and tired all the time. So, one day, I asked him what was wrong." She took a deep breath of air, "He told me the truth. So now, I've been living in fear of those _things_. I don't know much about them. Only that I can _never_ look into their eyes." She shuddered.

"Pure black eyes," I said, closing my eyes in remembrance, "No depth to them. No soul."

"You've seen them?" Leah asked, bewildered. I nodded.

"Then why aren't you…dead?"

"I saw them through a mirror. Lucky for me, as long as you don't stare directly into their eyes, you're okay. But that includes contacts and glasses, but you can look at them through a window or see their reflection in a mirror. There has to be something between you. A thin sheet of glass won't do much. A wall will."

Leah—who now looked incredibly vulnerable—whispered, "Do…do you know anything else about them?" I pondered that, before nodding.

"They're remarkably intelligent. One of them—named Violet—even took a weird liking to me. They have personalities, and individual thoughts. They feed on our fear." I hesitated, before continuing, "Something bad is happening though. Though I hate her, I haven't seen Violet in a couple of days now. Its peculiar, since she's been watching me for years now, then she just…_disappeared_."

There was a moment of tension, where we just stared at each. I could tell, just by her face, that she was nearly as scared as I was. But she had no idea…how much those monsters persisted, and how cruel they could really be. She'd never had one of the creatures _introduce_ itself to her. She was much too new to this little game.

And I had been playing for years.

There was a gentle tap at the window. Our heads instinctively snapped to the glass in panic. The raven I'd spoken to this morning stood there, motioning with its head to open the window. Leah shrieked and ran out of the room, coming back with a broom in her hands. She walked to the window, ready to open it and beat the raven away. I sighed.

"Stop Leah," I said calmly, not getting up from my seat, "That raven likes me. It's perfectly tame. Just open the window; it'll come straight for me." She gave me a dubious look, the broom still gripped tight in her hands.

"Bella, crows can't be tamed. They're wild." She raised her eyebrows, questioning my trust for the raven.

"That's what my father said about you, "I shot back darkly, "But I came anyway. Because I wanted to give you a _chance_. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to see my _raven_ friend again." I pressed my lips together, and watched her warily unlock and pull up the window. The raven flew over to me, landing on my outstretched arm. I used my free hand to pat his feathers back.

Leah watched in fascination, shutting the window again. "You weren't kidding," She said in awe, "How does it know you? Is it even clean?" I ran my hand over its feathers, finding the raven surprisingly hygienic for a bird, even with its intelligence. The raven nuzzled my open hand, comfortingly, as if it knew something was wrong.

"I'm not sure," I answered honestly, "Like Violet; it's been around me for years." The raven glared at me, "Oh hush, you aren't anywhere near as bad as Violet and you know it," I scolded, "So you can keep your reprimanding looks to yourself. I'm fully aware how wicked Violet is and how kind you are." The raven looked away, appeased.

"Can it…understand us?" Leah breathed in wonder, taking her seat back and watching the raven on my arm. I mumbled a _yes_. "Are you going to give it a name? It'd be kind of annoying to keep saying _the_ _raven_ all the time, don't you think?" I paused, tilting my head at the raven. It copied me.

"Well…it's pretty good at tracking me…" I stopped talking, choking on my remaining words. I couldn't use that name. It was wrong. But somehow…it felt right. "I'll name it Demetri." Leah smiled and so did the raven. Demetri approved of his new name.

"I wonder if all ravens are like this," She muttered to herself, "Or just this one. What do you think Bella?" I shrugged, looking back into Demetri's thoughtful eyes. I repeated the question to him, knowing he would answer correctly.

"Are other ravens like you?" He nodded, his claws digging into my arm a bit. I hadn't noticed until now that Demetri had done an excellent job of not piercing the skin of my forearm. He was so docile, so mellow. He was every bit as human as Leah or I. Maybe even more so.

"Listen," Leah said to me benevolently, "I want to thank you for coming. I know I was rude at first but…thank you. You could've left after I said those spiteful things to you, but you stayed to try and help me. That means a lot to me." She sighed sadly, drifting off, "These creatures have cost me so much. My health, my personality, my family, my sanity, and my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" I asked, trying not to pry. Curiosity isn't a terrible thing, but in the long term, it only awakens more questions to answer. Leah nodded solemnly. Her long hair came forward, her bangs blocking my view of her eyes. As bitter as she appeared, Leah wasn't a martyr. She _loathed_ people seeing her weak.

"Sam was my first love. To this day, I still can't find it in me to blame him for leaving me." I heard her sigh, "I guess he got tired of seeing me afraid of everything. He wanted the strong, happy-go-lucky Leah back, but I couldn't be her anymore," She gave a humourless laugh, "How could I possibly tell him what I was afraid of? I knew what would happen. So, when the opportunity came—in the form of my second-cousin Emily—he was gone."

"We all have people who leave us because of the creatures," I said quietly, "My mother got tired of hearing me cry at night. She didn't want me—the embarrassment—ruining her reputation among her friends, and _especially_ not around her new boy-toy Phil. So, here I am." I gave a pained half-smile.

"But, in the end, everything just goes sour," I continued, tears prickling at my eyes, "Everything we touch dies. And that's why we are the way we are." Leah looked up, and I could see the tears in her eyes as well. Demetri moved up my arm, to perch on my shoulder. He nuzzled the top of his head into the crook of my neck. I sniffled.

"It's nearly sundown," Leah breathed in worry, staring out the window, "I'm not being rude, but you should get going. Eat a little something and get straight to bed. Call me sometime. It's nice having a friend for once." She scribbled her number down on a random piece of paper, handing it over to me. I grinned up at her, getting up—with Demetri still on my shoulder—and walked to the door.

"I'll see you soon," I called, opening the door and jogging to my car. Leah waved at me.

"Bye Bella! Bye Demetri!" She then shut the door, and I drove off, hoping to arrive home before day's end. Demetri was already gone, soaring in the air high above me. His wingspan was gorgeous and awe-inspiring. But after a quick glance, I kept my eyes back on the road.

_Why kill yourself when you already have a death sentence on your hands?_

_Pitch black eyes,  
Wait for,  
The sun,  
To rise._

--

A/N: There, done another chapter. I think I'll be starting a one-shot today, and have it up by say…a week or two from now. Depending on how fast I write, and if the idea comes quick enough. I want to do a one-shot of fluff between Kaname and Yuuki for _**Vampire Knight**_, since that's my second favourite thing to _exist_.

For those of you who are worried about _**Twisted Dreams**_, don't be. I wouldn't give away Bella's secret so early in the story. That's just silly. That'd be…so boring. Not even funny. I want to make Edward a _little_ more annoyed and frustrated. Gosh, I'm terrible. (;

--Breathless Tomb--


	7. Chapter 6: Classless Conversations

A/N: Okay, just to clear all you guys, this chapter takes place awhile later. Though that'll probably be obvious after the _first_ paragraph, but I still wanted to sort that out. To be honest, this chapter felt rather rough, so don't review me too hard. I think the next chapter for _**Twisted Dreams**_ should be out soon but…I always procrastinate. The sad part is, I have a new idea for a story I _may_ start. So, onto this chapter…

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Chapter 6: September 24, 2005—Forks, Washington

**Bella's POV**

--

It had been two weeks, yet I hadn't called Leah since I'd last seen her. She didn't bother to search me up either. I hadn't seen Demetri in a few days—I'd seen other crows and a few ravens, but none of them were Demetri. I'd gotten significantly closer to Jasper and Alice, thought I was still trying to keep my distance from Edward. His presence unnerved me. Rosalie still seemed pissed at me, though she kept herself coolly detached from me. And Emmett…was just Emmett.

I walked into History with Alice, talking nonchalantly about random, trivial things. It was a lazy Thursday. Each day that passed by increased my anxiety. There was less than a few more weeks before my one month time limit was over. Jasper was waiting for us at our usual table, a lenient grin on his face. I waved casually as we walked through the door. He nodded back, chuckling.

"Jazz!" Alice squealed, rushing forward to engulf Jasper in a bone-shattering hug. He chuckled again, hugging her back and giving her a sweet peck on the cheek. I stood there awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. I felt like a third wheel, like I'm sure others did when they were around Jasper and Alice. I remembered how Edward had stopped hanging around them, for the same reason I was feeling uneasy now.

"Hello Bella," Jasper greeted me, still gazing into Alice's eyes. I cringed. Too lovey-dovey for me. It was sickeningly sweet; they were the kind of couple that made people swoon and gag. I sent him a painful half-smile, but he didn't see it as his eyes were otherwise occupied. I rolled my eyes.

"It's almost enough to make someone vomit," I mumbled. Alice overheard me and started giggling madly. "I'm serious Alice! You have _no idea_ how uncomfortable it is being around you two! Do you _ever_ not act like this?" Alice and Jasper shared a long look, before they snorted simultaneously. Jasper turned to me with a sceptical look on his face. He raised his eyebrows.

"Please," He rolled his eyes, "Have you _noticed_ the atmosphere between you and Edward? Gosh, talk about sexually deprived. _Everyone's_ noticed, not just us." I blushed at his comment. Curiously though, I could hear a slight twinge of a southern accent in his voice. It had always been there before, but it seemed more…pronounced now. I bit my lower lip in confusion, but said nothing.

"I don't like Edward that way," I said, still bushing madly. Alice rolled her eyes at my obvious lie. _Why did I have to pick now to be a bad liar?_

"Sure. That explains your blush." Her voice was thick with sarcasm.

"I'm serious! Edward's just a friend!"

"You know…I used to think you were a good liar. I guess I was wrong," She sat down and I quickly followed, "Please. It's so obvious you like him. There's a certain tension between you and him." She used wild hand gestures, as if I wouldn't get what she was saying with _just_ words. "You two are worse than us. You _look_ at him and blush. And he never stops staring at you. It's sweet…but sad. You two are too _stupid_ to realize you like each other." She looked quite frustrated.

"Alice," My tone was warning, "I don't like Edward. He's gorgeous, smart, funny, brave," I stopped before I started rambling, "But it would never work. And I don't blush! And he doesn't stare at me! You're just being delusional." Alice slammed her fists down on the table, causing several people to look our way. I flushed at the sudden attention, but Alice seemed undeterred.

"Bella, it's obvious!" She said, her pencil-thin eyebrows furrowing, "I don't want to argue with you, but face it. I'm right." Her face softened, "Edward's always been so lonely. He's always been so…apathetic to everyone. But now that he's _met_ you, he's so different! He laughs, and shows actual emotions! And you act differently too. There's so much attraction between you two!" She frowned, "Why can't you just see it?"

I sighed, looking away. How could I tell her that I was in love with Edward? I was…afraid. Of rejection. And…even if he did feel the same way, I was too damaged to be with him. Eventually…he would end up seeing the creatures too. I would snap and tell him. And then he would be haunted as well. That's all I was good for. Destroying lives. And…I loved Edward too much to do that to him. He was a good friend, but I couldn't go beyond that.

Class started seconds after Alice's last comment, effectively ending the conversation. Jasper—the empathy he was—narrowed his eyes at me, bewildered by the tortured expression on my face. I cleared my expression quickly, but the damage was done. I avoided his gaze for the rest of the morning classes, not allowing him to find out anymore about my sudden switch in mood.

Lunch came swiftly, and—unlike other times—Edward spent the period doing his best to ignore _me_. I was hurt, not at all appreciating his silence. Of course, I was being hypocritical. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind of thoughts. It was better this way, if Edward didn't want me. It made things easier. The more he liked me back, the harder it would be to say goodbye.

"Bella, I wanted to know if you wanted to spend the weekend at my house," Alice said, her mood sky rocketing, "Besides Rosalie, I've never had a sleepover before! And Rosalie's almost always over—for Emmett, of course—so it's not as special. But, it would be _so_ much fun if you came over!" She shot me a dazzling, beaming smile. It was so happy, like a child on Christmas morning. I wasn't sure how I was going to reject her offer without breaking her heart.

I hesitated, "Alice…I don't know if Charlie will allow me to sleep over at someone's house. My parents—even Renée—have always been very protective." It was a half-lie. I knew Charlie wouldn't be content with me sleeping over at a house with two teenage boys. But, more than anything, I was doing this for myself. How would I explain myself as I cried out at night? I had a few weeks left, and I didn't intend to rush the inevitable.

Little Alice's face fell a bit, but she looked even more determined than before, "But Charlie knows Carlisle! He'll gladly let you stay! It's not as if we're going clubbing, it'll be just a girl's night in." Her innocent eyes widened, "_Please_ Bella! I've never had a real friend before! Rosalie is so close, she's like a sister. But you're the closest friend I've had in years. Rosalie's always too busy with Emmett." She pouted. I couldn't say not to her. I couldn't take it.

So I left.

"Excuse me Alice. Guys." I got up and ran for the exit. Alice and Jasper called after me as I sprinted off, and I could've sworn I even heard Emmett, but Edward's voice never rang. He wasn't asking me to come back. That fact nearly had me in tears. But I held them back. I raced through the school, ignoring the occasional perplexed looks of nearby students. I couldn't deal with Alice's begging. It reminded me of what I had to do in one and a half week's time.

I burst through the school exit, in the back of the building, where a few of the faculty's cars were parked. I bent my back forward, gripping my knees in exhaustion from running. I stumbled to the right, leaning against one of the brick walls. I groaned bringing up one of my hands to rub the side of my face. The stress was…unbelievable at this point.

What was I going to _do?_ The deadline—in more than one way—was getting closer and closer. I was nowhere near ready to tell any of them. Not even Edward. Angela had been wrong; I couldn't tell him! I loved him, not loathed him. I…I didn't want him to see the creatures. I didn't want him to have to go through sleepless nights, and fits of panic, where all you can see is the creatures. I didn't want him to jump every time he saw a little raven-haired school kid in a uniform.

I wanted him to be happy, and free of burdens like myself. I wanted Edward to have a rich, successful life, filled with joys and hardly a bad moment. If I couldn't have a part of his life, I didn't care. I was too concerned with _Edward's_ happiness. Not mine. Maybe that was my undoing. Maybe that was why I didn't once think about my own life. I was too concerned with everyone else's.

_Stop thinking about others for a minute and think of yourself._

_What does Isabella Swan want?_

To be honest…I didn't know what she wanted. I didn't ever sit down and think about my life. I spent the days fighting to live until the next day, not worrying about the future, or petty little things. My life wasn't horrible…but it wasn't great. I made mountains out of molehills.

I didn't know how to make it better. I only knew how to make it worse. I closed my eyes, leaning back against the building. How would I make anything better? While it was true…that coming to Forks had changed my perspective on life. I could see the beauty in things I used to overlook. I could see light, where darkness only lurked before. And…I could see love, where I used to only see indifference.

And, I had to credit Edward and his family on most of these things, but Edward especially. Charlie helped me too, seeing a proper family for the first time. Life with Renée had been…difficult, to say the least. At times—before I'd become branded a complete disgrace—I had been simply a trophy. The picture-perfect daughter that she wanted me to be. But, her sending me here had turned out to be my personal nirvana.

"Look who it is. Little _Bella Swan_," said a semi-familiar nasally voice. My eyes sprung open, to see a group of about seven students a few meters in front of me. The one who spoke was Lauren. She eyed me in revulsion, pulling back a lock of her silvery-blonde hair. I shrunk back into myself. Why were they here? They'd been in the cafeteria the last time I'd seen them. Had they followed me?

To corner me?

"What do you want?" I asked, on the defence immediately. I knew they were displeased with me. I knew they hated the Cullen's, and because I associated with them, they in turn hated me as well. But, I had tricked them. Made them believe I as well hated the Cullen's, only to go ahead and befriend them again. It was all topsy turvy. But, how could I explain myself to them?

"Well…" started Mike, coming out from behind Lauren, "Now that your little _bodyguards_ aren't here, we decided to set the record straight." He scowled, "So, you _like_ the Cullen's? What happened to _'she's a freak, I don't know how her parents stand her'_?" He waited expectantly. I went for an obvious answer.

"I realized how much better they were than you guys," I snarled, fixing myself into a defensive position. I didn't know what they were planning, but it didn't seem like it would be good. Lauren snapped her long, thin fingers, with a smug smirk on her face.

"Boys, I think you wanted something?" She asked, looking behind her. Three boys who I didn't recognize stepped out. They were each at least twenty and they were all leering at me. I brought my hands—clenched into fists—in front of my face, trying to make myself a smaller target.

Mike looked nervous, "Lauren, do you really thi—" She cut him off.

"Shut up Mike! You were too much of a pussy to do it, but they happily agreed." She turned back to me, "Well Bella…I'd say this won't hurt a bit, but it will. An awful lot." I blanched. The three boys were advancing now, looking like they'd just won the lottery. I readied myself, not allowing then to see the fear on my face. _No, no, no, why always me?_

"Hey! Get the fuck away from her!" yelled a furious, velvety voice. I looked sharply to my left, and sighed in extreme relief. Edward stood there with his cell phone open at his ear, "Yeah Alice, get yourself and Emmett here. Behind the school near the teacher's parking lot. Bring Jasper and Rose too." He then shut the phone, stuffing it into his back pocket.

Mike grabbed onto Lauren's should, "Lauren, let's go. Have you _seen_ the size of that Emmett kid? Even if we're more than them…" He visibly shuddered, pulling Lauren away with him. She didn't resist. Everyone else followed her too, the three guys looking majorly disgruntled. I let out a breathe I'd been holding, emotionally tired.

"Thank you Edward," I said sincerely, watching him walk to me, "You really saved me back there. Are the others on their way?" I looked around, expecting to see Jasper or Emmett burst through the exit doors. Edward laid a hand on my shoulder, smiling. _His eyes seem so lonely_, I thought, looking up into his emerald orbs.

"I didn't actually call anyone. It was just to make _Lauren_," He spat her name as if it was acid, "And the others back off. I was going to come after you anyway when you ran off, but I figured I would have to head the others off after I saw them run after you." He reached up to rub my head. I unconsciously leaned into his palm.

"You seem…not frightened," Edward said, frowning, "Shouldn't this be the part where you go into shock or something?" He blinked, looking at me like I'd grown a second head. For some reason, his assumption that I should be freaking out right now really annoyed me.

"Isn't this the part where I shove a paper bag on your head and run away, so everyone knows the doofus with the bag on his head, is for sure the rapist chasing after the chick running away," I snapped, glaring at him. Edward blinked again, but seemed slightly satisfied. _Damn_, now I made him think I really _was_ going into shock. "I'm perfectly fine."

He didn't look like he believed me, "All the same, I'd feel better if you got some food in you." He checked the silver watch strapped to his wrist, "And lunch is nearly over. _Have_ you eaten anything? I didn't actually see you finish that salad back in the cafeteria." He squinted at me, suspicious over the lack of food I'd consumed. My face heated up. I was too embarrassed to say I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.

"I'll take that as a _no_," He muttered under his breath, slipping his arm around my waist and walking around the building. Too confused for words, I walked silently with him. I wasn't exactly big on being touched, but I couldn't help it as my heart began to beat rapidly. Edward's hand felt like fire against my side, but I was sure his skin would still be as lukewarm as always. _You're making a big deal out of nothing Bella_, I thought, _so be a good, cooperative little girl and shut up._

"Edward…" I said anyway, not listening to the small voice at the back of my head telling me to shut my trap, "Where are we going exactly?" I fought back a shiver as we came to the front of the school, seeing Lauren and Jessica talking vivaciously with the three twenty-year old boys. Lauren glowered at us, but then turned mystified when she didn't see us flanked by the others. Namely, Emmett and Jasper.

"To get something to eat, of course," He stated obviously, as if it were completely ordinary to ditch classes and go grab a bite to eat with him. He led me towards a gleaming- silver Volvo, something I'd expected from someone like Edward. I almost snorted at the sight.

"What about classes?" I protested.

"Well…we skip."

***

Apparently, Edward was known for getting his way. While I did put up a bit of a fuss over missing the rest of the school day, he eventually persuaded me to come out to a restaurant with him. I, of course, found it insanely difficult to even put up the small fit that I did. So, in the end, I naturally accepted his request. I would've said yes to him no matter what he asked of me. I couldn't deny him anything.

"You have a bit of a stubborn streak in you, don't you?" Edward asked during the long car ride, as I pouted in the passenger seat. He arched an eyebrow at me, speeding up as he did so. I cringed, not liking the velocity at all. It made my stomach churn in the most uncomfortable of ways. If he noticed my antsy expression, he didn't remark on it.

"I don't like skipping," I mumbled, "I always get caught when I do anything rebellious. Charlie is _so_ going to ground me for this!" I groaned, burying my face in my hands. I vaguely heard Edward scoff at my words.

"You call _this_ rebellious? You need to get out more."

"I don't generally like the public. I stay indoors a lot."

He sighed, "I can't say I didn't expect that answer." He looked over at me, his face so sinfully handsome that it literally hurt to look at him, "Isabella, why do you act like you're already dead when you have so much life left to live? You deserve to be happy, but you aren't." He frowned, "Why?"

I looked out the window, watching the city fly by, a disarray of colours and disoriented shapes. I could see the moon in the sky, though the sun still shone brightly. It hung close to the Earth, pearly white. I felt like reaching out and grazing it with my finger tips. It looked so delicate, as if it'd shatter if I blew on it. I probably looked that way to other people.

"I can't be sure…" I started, "But I think that God has it out for me. I'd like to say I'd never done something wrong in my life, but then I'd be lying. So, as an act of retribution, I refuse to allow myself any sort of 'life'." My words seemed idiotic as I spoke them aloud. It made so much more sense in my head.

Edward's face turned bemused, "You know, I never pictured you as a religious person. No offense or anything. You just look sort of…not." He smiled apologetically, but I wasn't insulted. Once more, he'd managed to guess more about me than anyone else. This fact made me smile and shudder at the same time. _What made him different from everyone that I'd ever known?_

"I'm not," I admitted, "But I figured, there has to be _something_ up there, messing with me. I just used God as an example. I'm actually agnostic." I chewed on my lower lip. Why was I giving all my secrets away? Love him or not, I had my privacy. I had my independence. I didn't need anyone to take care of me.

Didn't I?

"I thought so," He said smugly. I noticed in that instant that we were leaving Forks. I gripped the seat in terror. My eyes glanced quickly to Edward, but his face was serene. To be honest with myself, how much did I know about Edward? He could've been some deranged, psychopathic serial killer for all that I was aware of. I didn't want to believe that, but it could be true.

"Edward, where are we going?" I asked a bit more anxiously this time. He seemed to notice my distraught expression and chuckled. I was getting more unnerved as the seconds ticked by. He was proving to me that he might possibly be mad.

"I'm taking you to Seattle. They have a much better food selection. I'm not planning on taking you to a secluded road, then beating you to death with a pipe and throwing your dead, beaten body into a ravine," He teased, winking. I was slightly less panicked, but still not fully calm.

"Not planning on having sex with my dead body?" I asked for clarification. He threw back his head, roaring with laughter.

"I'd only do that if you were willing," He smirked. I blushed five shades of red, outraged by his mocking words. He chuckled again; his eyes alight with mischief, losing the loneliness in them. The fact that he was having fun cheered me up, almost making me forget about his annoyingly pathetic comment.

Almost.

"Edward!" I shirked, "You pervert! Take that back _now_ you son of a bitch!" I shoved his arm, but luckily, he didn't lose control of the car. I flushed again, realizing the idiot move I'd just made. He was incredibly frustrating. Such mood swings…

"Don't insult my mother," He retorted, "It's rude. Jeez, I thought you were _nice_ Isabella. Shows how right I was." He looked away, mock glaring out the window. I was livid. Too angry for words. I silently made hand motions, shoving that I wanted to wring his neck. His body shook with suppressed laughter, much like Emmett had done the first time I'd met him. _Brothers_.

"I really hate that smug expression on your face right now, you know?" I seethed, my face twisted up in fury. Edward sent me an innocent grin.

"Why, I don't know what you're talking about."

I sat in a furious silence for the rest of the ride, with Edward barely managing to compose his facial features. But, inwardly, I was elated. I was getting Edward to laugh! I'd never seen him laugh before—not once. But, I suppose this was a day for firsts. Still, it filled me with an unbelievable joy to know how happy he was. I would erase his melancholy for as long as I could, without getting too involved with him.

Because I loved him enough to do that.

I loved him enough to do anything for him, without getting _too_ close to him. I would compromise my own happiness, if it meant that even the smallest of smiles graced his lips. I'd sacrifice my life if it meant he would release even the lightest of chuckles. Never did I think I would fall so hard. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would love someone as much as I loved Edward.

He was special. Different than the others. And not just personality wise. There…was something else. I couldn't understand it. And…maybe I didn't want to. Why should I question love? Who would give me answers? I should just leave it as it was, a tragic love, never to be acted on.

Edward parked outside a quaint restaurant, telling me to stay in the car until he got out. In my perplexity, I listened to him, watching him walk around the car onto the sidewalk. I smiled when he opened the door for me, though a little annoyed. But, I never looked chivalry in the face. There weren't many people polite these days.

"I could've gotten out on my own," I joked, smiling teasingly, "But thank you." I got out of the car and took his outstretched hand. We walked into the small restaurant together, looking more like a couple than friends going out for lunch. I almost let go of his hand, but stopped when I saw some red-headed girl do a double take as we walked by, her eyes scanning over Edward as if he were a pretty piece of meat.

Jealousy burned my insides, raw and brutal. I could _see_ myself tearing that pathetic girl to pieces, ripping out her red hair and gouging her eyes out. I flinched, shocked at my descriptive, violent thoughts. I'd never been so prone to such sadistic acts. My surprise probably saved the girl though. I had enough self-control, that when I saw her hungrily lick her lips, I simply ignored her.

The restaurant was tiny, with a place to order your food and a few assorted tables and chairs. It didn't seem like a fast food joint from the outside, but apparently it was. I looked up onto the giant menu hanging above the counter and smiled. There was so much food to choose from! Edward turned his head to look at me.

"Have you decided what you want?" He asked, his eyes darting back to the menu. I nodded, grinning.

"I think…a small poutine and iced tea," I said, making sure I was positive, "What about you? Same?" He pursed his lips.

"A burger, probably. I'll order our food, you go get the napkins and straws, and find some seats, okay?" He glanced over at my expression, afraid I might be offended at him telling me what to do. I chuckled, waving it off and turning around to get the straws. I pressed down on the dispenser twice and grabbed a handful of napkins. Looking over the restaurant, it took me a few seconds before I found the perfect seats.

Against the at the back—the cleanest place in the restaurant—were a pair of dark green leather arm chairs and a small, round table, pressed up against the wall with an obviously fake fireplace moulded into it. I rushed to the back, trying not to trip over anything. I heard a little _ding_ at door of the restaurant and my head snapped in the direction of the noise. I fumed at what I saw.

The red-headed girl stepped into the restaurant, hastily mussing her hair and undoing the first three buttons of her silky, vibrant purple blouse. My fingers twitched as she advanced to behind where Edward was standing, swaying her hips provocatively. _She wouldn't_, I thought, _does she actually think…?_

I could see now, in the neon lights of the restaurant, that her hair was actually a strawberry-blonde, though hinting very close to red. Her full, painted red lips were pulled up into a challenged smirk, pale blue eyes dancing with lust and arrogance. She was no doubt beautiful, but…she had the air of a seductress, someone who simply used men as toys. And it seemed Edward was her latest conquest.

The jealousy never burned so badly.

But, even as she tapped one of her long fingers on his shoulder, I stayed still. I tried to avert my eyes, but they were glued on the scene in a sort of scandalized rage. Edward turned his head to look at her, confused and a bit frustrated. This did calm me down. Edward was too much of a gentleman to start or even continue anything she instigated. When his eyes didn't immediately turn lustful, I could see the strawberry-blonde's irritation spike.

I could see her lazily drawl something, her lips purposely moving slowly as if to draw his attention to them. But Edward's gaze never wavered. I assumed she had asked a question, because Edward gave her a curt nod, picking up our tray that had just arrived and walked over to where I was sitting. His eyes still seemed mildly fractious.

"Stupid skanks," He muttered under his breath, taking a seat across from me, "No self-respect. Never takes a hint. You know?" He asked, his voice almost whiny. I sniggered at his obvious infuriation. Why had I been envious again? There was no way Edward would ever submit to one of _her_ sick fantasies. The girl in question looked hurt, her ego having taken a serious drop. If I didn't hate her so much, I might've felt bad.

"Oh yeah," I rolled my eyes, "I've had tons of girls come onto me before. I usually carry around a stick to beat them off. They're especially attracted to my _natural_ _good-looks_ and my _stunning_ confidence." I barked a laugh, though it was void of humour. I could sense that the atmosphere was going to get serious again; after all, Edward was hardly keen on me putting myself down.

No matter how true it was.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," He sighed, "I think I should take up a hobby. Like, getting Alice to take you shopping every time you insult yourself." He watched in amusement as my expression turned to pure, unadulterated horror. A single gasp escaped my lips.

"No," I croaked, images of pink bags, strappy heels, and silky dresses flashing before my eyes, "Please! Anything but that! I hate shopping! Anything! I'll do anything else!" Tears literally sprung to my eyes at the thought of spending hours and hours and hours trying to clothes. I shivered. Edward grinned, his eyes full of life.

"Then don't say anything bad about yourself. Anymore. Now eat, I didn't spent money for you to just sit there."

_In the dead of  
Night.  
In a  
Whispering  
Quiet,  
That sends shivers down,  
Your spine._

--

A/N: There done. I'd say something catchy or something here, but I'm really pissed at my computer right now. This stupid anti-virus thing won't go away! I have to do something, and soon. Well, I guess that's it.

Oh, by the way, my editor/nagger Sara totally owns that comment about the paper bag and the rapist. She gave that to me awhile ago, on Facebook. We insult each other a lot in funny ways. It's just our thing. So yeah, I take no credit for the little piece of brilliance. She's freaking awesome, isn't she? I love her. (:

--Breathless Tomb--


	8. Chapter 7: Nameless Locations

A/N: Here's the seventh chapter. I think I might start revealing things to Edward in either this chapter or the next one. I'm not sure. I don't really write the story, it kind of writes itself. I've decided to make Bella more…still 'Edward-y' but with more sense. I just find it _hilarious_ watching her interact with him. I guess that's all for now, so, onto the chapter…

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Chapter 7: September 24, 2005—Forks, Washington

**Bella's POV**

--

"My stomach hurts," I moaned, rubbing my full belly, "I feel like I'm going to explode. Or implode. Whatever hurts more." I cracked one of my shut eyes open to stare at Edward, "What about you?" He looked utterly bemused, giving me a strange look.

"You only _had_ a small poutine and something to drink," He scoffed, "How could you _possibly_ be full from that?" I rolled my eyes, closing them tight again, groaning with another rumble from my tummy. Why did eating hurt so much?

"I don't generally eat a lot to begin with," I clenched my hand tightly, bringing it up to my face, "They face your stomach is the size of your fist. So, here's the proof of how little I need to eat." I waggled my small fist, loosening my fingers, then wiggling them a bit to get rid of the soreness.

"Doesn't not eating cause you to become unhealthy?" He asked sceptically.

"I'm hardly ever sick, believe it or not. I really just don't have to eat a lot. As a friend of mine once said, 'I don't eat to satisfy my hunger, I eat to survive'." I winced as I said those words, bringing my hand up to rub my aching jaw. My now open eyelids began to droop as a wave of drowsiness took over me. "I'm tired," I mumbled softly, "Can we go now?"

"Of course sweetheart," He said, smiling as he stood up. I searched his face, but he didn't seem to register what he'd called me. It'd probably been some sort of unconscious reaction. Nevertheless, the fact that he naturally—without meaning to—called me by the sweet sentiment, proved to me that this was going to be much harder than I originally planned. It was better for me if Edward only remained friendly, and nothing more.

But at this stage, I doubted I had the strength to push him away.

"Everything is so much more complicated than before," I mumbled under my breath as we threw out our trash and walked out of the fast food joint. Edward looked over at me, confused at what I had said.

"Huh?" He asked, but I merely sighed and shook my head. _A few more weeks Bella_, I reminded myself, _you have a few more weeks of temporary peace_. We walked silently to the car, my mood sinking deeper and deeper into a chaotic mess of emotions. My hand was burning and sweating, tightly gripped in his much larger hand. I couldn't look into his eyes right now.

"Where do you want to go now?" He asked softly, his eyes burning with an emotion almost equal to reverence. I bit my lip, thinking.

"Honestly, anywhere is fine with me," I admitted, "As long as I get home before five. If not, Charlie will have a cow. And I mean that in both ways, because if I'm not there to cook supper, he might _literally_ eat a live cow." Edward stared at me wide-eyed, shocked, but didn't comment on what I'd just said. Knowing him, he'd probably already guessed how bad of a cook Charlie was.

"Then I know the perfect place to go." He grinned brightly, getting into the front seat of the car. I followed, strapping my seat belt in and waiting for him to start the car. I relaxed into the plush leather seat, closing my eyes. I vaguely heard the faint purring of the engine as he started it, before soft vibrations ran through me, gently lulling me into a semi-catatonic state.

"Where is this 'place'?" I asked, my lips barely moving. Edward didn't answer, and when I snapped one eyelid open, I could see a tiny smirk on his pink lips. I decided I'd have to set some restrictions.

"Alright," I started, "You are _not_ allowed to take me to a brothel, a strip house, a soccer game, college football, a bar, a racetrack, or an arcade. Got it?" I raised an eyebrow in his general direction, watching as the sky began to darken, a slight drizzle starting. Edward mock pouted.

"Aww…you ruin all my fun!" He whined, and I snorted. Driving down a busy road, Edward flicked on the radio, tuning it to a random station, where a calm, classical song was playing. That, along with the car vibrations, was almost enough to put me to sleep.

There was a hushed patter of rain hitting the car windows, as the windshield-wipers tried to clean up the watery mess. Dark clouds covered the sun and moon, looking like a blanket smothering the town. I almost felt claustrophobic. The air was chilly, so Edward quickly turned on the heater, and a blast of hot air hit me, instantly warming me up.

The drive—to wherever we were going—was long, the traffic brutal. I could see Edward frown from the corner of my eye, his mouth pressed in a hard line. I was dripping with curiosity, anxiously awaiting our destination. While it _was_ rush hour, I figured cars _here_ would be going _a_ _lot_ faster. Of course, that was just another thing I got wrong. The classical song ended, before morphing into another, slightly creepier one.

"How long is this going to take?" I complained, in an obviously bad fake French accent. Edward groaned, cracking a smile.

"I'm sorry," He said apologetically, "If you want to go home now, I don't mind." But the pained expression on his face told me that he _would_ in fact mind if I decided to leave now. He was just being sweet, allowing me to do as I pleased. _I'm nowhere near worthy of him_, I thought, _he's much too good. Much too pure. What's a man like him doing on Earth with us mere mortals?_

"No, I want to stay," I assured him, "These _people_ just drive so slowly!" I think my whining was beginning to annoy him, for he turned his head away, scowling out of the window. I clamped a hand over my mouth, giggling. But, after a few seconds, I realized Edward was glaring out at the rain. Not at me. This, of course, just made me laugh harder.

Edward smiled ruefully, "It doesn't look like the rain is going to let up. Do you mind if we do something different?" His inquisitive eyed turned to me, probing. _Like he needed to ask_. If it weren't for the fact that I needed him to be an emotional arms distance from me, I would've just told him that—no matter what he asked—it took him practically nothing to get me to say _yes_.

I gave a nonchalant shrug, acting like I didn't mind either way, "Fine by me." Though, on the inside, I was jumping with joy at even being able to spend another _minute_ with Edward. This was a _hundred_ times better than spending the day in my afternoon classes. Though, hopefully Charlie wouldn't get _too_ mad tonight. As if on cue, Edward's cell phone rang, the song echoing in the air.

"_You've never been so used,  
As I'm using you,  
Abusing you,  
My little decoy.  
Don't look so blue,  
You should've seen right through,  
I'm using you,  
My little decoy."_

"Alice programs songs in all our phones for her," He said in explanation, "She's going through a _Paramore_ phase right now." He flipped the cell phone open, "Hey Alice." He kept silent for a minute, though I could hear a faint static at the other end, as if someone were talking. He suddenly smiled brightly, "Thanks Alice, I really appreciate it…yes, I'll tell her…alright…love you too…bye." He hung up, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

"What was that all about?" I asked, confused. I wondered what Alice had said to him. What had made him smile so gaily? He grinned, though keeping his eyes on the road. The silent car streaked through the rain now, the traffic long gone. I didn't know how Edward could see _anything_, even with the windshield-wipers on and the headlights shining bright.

"Alice _saw_ the whole 'situation' with Mallory and Newton, so she covered for us," He enlightened me, "She told the principal the truth actually, that you'd nearly been attacked, and that I'd taken you home to get some rest, and that I told Alice to sign us out. Carlisle, my father, was called, but he assured the school that he was perfectly fine with anything I did." I groaned.

"Did they call Charlie?" I asked in a small voice, dreading the answer. Edward didn't hesitate to answer.

"Well, yes, but since Alice insisted you were okay and just needed some sleep, he didn't get _too_ angry. Of course, he's still furious with Lauren and the others," Edward snickered, "Apparently he was so incensed he brought every single one of them down to the station. Those three older guys are even spending a few weeks in a cell for _malicious intensions_." He smirked evilly.

"Isn't that a bit much? A few _weeks?_" I protested. Edward looked at me as if I'd just told him that I liked to torture small children. He turned right suddenly, parking. Through the haze of rain, I couldn't tell where we were, though I _could_ tell we weren't on the road anymore. He unbuckled himself, twisting his whole body to gape at me.

"Isabella…are you _serious?_ Those men were going to _rape_ you and you're _defending_ them?" His tone questioned my sanity, "…You're too nice for your own good. Do you have some sort of death wish?" _If you only knew…_

I sucked my lower lip into my mouth, "No…I know what they were going to do to me. And believe me, if I saw them in an alley and I had a gun, I wouldn't hesitate to use it. I just…I don't know. I kind of feel _bad_ for them. I don't know what would drive them to such lengths." I didn't know how to coherently express my thoughts.

Edward glared at me, "They're sick, psychotic people. They don't deserve your pity, and you're a fool if you think they do." His words cut me, harsh and piercing. I glared right back at him, the fire once again back in my eyes.

"Don't treat me like a naïve child, because I'm not. I know how cruel and twisted people are, alright? I'm not oblivious! You aren't listening to me though! No child is just _born_ evil. Something has to happen to them," I opened my mouth, before backtracking, "Actually, check that, no child is _conceived_ evil. Maybe the mother did drugs when she was pregnant, I don't know! I hate those people, but I also pity them." I promptly stopped, staring out the window, fuming.

My face was flushed from arguing, but I didn't regret a word I said. I would forever loathe those _monsters_ who tried to hurt me, but that didn't mean I couldn't feel bad for them. Besides, I had a secret weapon. A weapon only I could use. Granted, I could only use it after sundown, it was still much deadlier than any gun or knife. One moment of the most excruciating pain before sweet death.

The creatures were more human than those _monsters_. The creatures never physically harmed me, or even touched me inappropriately. They had no intensions of hurting me. Sure they wanted to scare the life out of me, but they didn't want to damage me. I was special to them. And…even though Violet had told me she wanted to kill me, I could tell that she would rather me alive than dead.

I knew practically everything about the creatures.

"I'm sorry," Edward exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose, "It's just…I can't even think about those _fuckers_ without wanting to run back there and…" He stopped speaking, taking deep breaths. He was trying to calm himself down, but I could still see just how livid Edward was. With a sudden jolt, I realized something crucial. He was _caring_ about me. More than if we were than just friends. I could hear it in his voice.

"Don't…worry about me," I said, panic seeping into my words, "You don't need to…care."

Edward frowned, "Isabella, how could I _not_ care? Don't you understand how horrible it would be for me, and everyone else, if something were to ever happen to you?" He sounded pained, "You're more than important. You're _everything_ to us. None of us—even Rosalie—would be able to live without you now. You're too much to lose." A gentle smile caressed his face.

"No! No! Don't you get it?" I shrieked, "Don't you understand what I've been trying to tell you from the start? You _shouldn't_ worry about me!" I leaned down, resting my face in my hands, "This is why I didn't want to get too close to you guys. I was doing that on purpose, and now…" The car was engulfed in silence.

Why couldn't they all just see that I was keeping them at a distance on purpose? I was shaking now, from absolute stress. I didn't want to tell them. I didn't want to tell Edward. But, I was beginning to grow dependant on him. Angela's words came back to me, rushing through my head.

_Tell Edward. Tell him your secret._

A warm arm wrapped around my shoulders, tugging me close. The shaking never ceased, but I felt safer in his arms, like nothing could hurt me. Everything was going to be harder after today. I couldn't ignore Edward anymore, that was certain. I wouldn't have the stomach to do it.

"I…understand what you're saying," He whispered, "And, even though if I don't agree, I can understand _why_. But, for now, why don't you just _forget_ about everything and just admire the scene in front of us." Not comprehending his last few words, I dropped my arms to my sides and looked up. A single, awed gasp left my mouth at the sight.

We were obviously up on a hill, looking over Forks, or at least, a forest of Forks. The rain had died down, though there were still a few assorted clouds in the now blue sky. The thick, green tree tops almost looked like a carpet, spreading on for miles and, sprouting from the middle of the forest, was a thin, glimmering rainbow, reaching up high into the white clouds. The air was clear and cool. It was the single most beautiful piece of nature I'd ever seen.

I glanced up at Edward, at a loss for words. He was smiling back down at me, his face so outstandingly gorgeous against the background, that I felt like I should have had a camera to capture this moment in time forever. Though, I doubted I'd ever forget this, no matter how long I lived for.

In that split second, I made a decision.

"Edward," I said tentatively, "There's something I need to say."

"Yes?" His tone was cautious, as if he was unsure of what I might say. _Obviously, dumbass._

"I've made up my mind. Come October fourth, I will explain why I act that way I do. I will tell you my secret," Edward's face lit up, "But…I do have one condition. And, I don't care if you approve or not, because my decision is final."

"What is it?"

"I'm not telling the others. Just you. I'm only telling you my secret."

***

Edward brought me home an hour before Charlie arrived, so I was able to keep up the façade of resting. This, of course, made Charlie order out _again_, thinking that I was much too weak to cook tonight. And while I appreciated that and did have to pretend I still wasn't feeling well, I couldn't help but feel miffed. I wasn't that into fast food, and this afternoon had only been a one-time thing. It was times like this where I wished Charlie could cook.

Edward had actually taken it well. He didn't seem to mind that I only wanted _him_ to know my secret. In fact, he seemed rather honoured. He did though warn me that the others might not be quite so accepting of my change of mind. Except Alice of course, who'd undoubtedly seen my whole afternoon with Edward. I'd come to realize that I'd never quite comprehend just _how_ much Alice knew. Another mystery.

I was alone in my room now, the sun setting. Charlie had come to be used to my early bed-time, not complaining anymore. I was sure he still speculated at times, but he kept his mouth shut. Which I was grateful for. I could live with Charlie. He made things easier.

But, alone now, with only my thoughts, I could feel myself slowly descending to madness. I had the bad habit of dwelling on painful things when I was by myself. It was as if my brain liked seeing my squirm, like it found amusement in watching my heart continuously shatter. Little tears slipped down my cheeks. The demon of my thoughts seemed to be crying too, not taunting me for once.

Demetri sat in my room, his eyes sorrowful. He'd just flown in through my open window, during my tear-fest. I tried to smile, but it came out all wrong. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Why did the world have to seem so merciless to people who'd never done anything? Maybe I'd been a serial killer in a past life.

But, the closer it came to nightfall, the harder it became. Turning my head, I looked out the window, the sky slowly darkening. Demetri sent me one final look before leaving, his giant wings spreading as he rose higher and higher. I watched his form until it was nothing more than a dot in the sky, until it was finally swallowed up by the endless night.

_And…I miss you. More than you know. And though I'll never see you again, know that, a small part of my already damaged heart belongs to you. I'll never forget you. Ever._

_Hold  
Or bite  
Your tongue.  
Silence is key  
To living  
In these deadly times._

--

A/N: There, another one done. I'm actually not at all satisfied with this chapter. I feel like it's terrible. I might redo it someday, but I doubt it. It's good enough to post, even if I'm not completely happy with it. Besides, since when have I cared about random, useless chapters? I post them all the time. :P

Okay, just to be clear, I don't agree with any of Bella's opinions. But that's her, not me. I think she's kind of an idiot in certain ways. I think I'm more of an 'Edward'. Bella isn't very logical in this story. She has her advantages, but she has a lot of cons. Well, until next time!

--Breathless Tomb--


	9. Chapter 8: Senseless Stress

A/N: To be honest, this was a hard chapter to write. I really had no idea what the heck I was doing (Like with most of my other chapters) so it took me a bit to actually come up with this. I might actually delete **Twisted Dreams**, because that's beginning to annoy me. I have new ideas for stories, and I _really_ want to use them. And I might start them soon! Anyhow, onto the chapter…

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Chapter 8: October 4, 2005—Forks, Washington

**Bella's POV**

--

It was the day. The day where everything would change drastically. The day I'd anticipated coming since I'd arrived in Forks. I couldn't say that I'd looked forward to this day. In truth, I felt like I was going to be sick. This was the day I'd been waiting for. One month of agonising, stressful waiting, and it was finally here.

The day I'd have to tell Edward my secret.

I woke up that morning, with absolutely no desire to get out of bed. Luckily for me, it _was_ a Sunday, so I wasn't obligated to go to school and see Edward there. But…I had a good feeling he wouldn't be letting me get off so easily. He'd waited patiently since September, but his patience could only stretch so far. The question was, how would he confront me about it?

Personally, I was scared senseless by the whole dilemma. I was still _much_ too nervous to tell Edward, plus I didn't know _how_ to tell him. It would be a rather awkward conversation started telling him how I'd come to see the creatures and what they were. I wasn't even sure if Edward would be able to spend the first night _alone_ and survive. _I_ had, but I had also been just a kid. My rational thinking had been plagued by fear, too terrified to once open my eyes. But…Edward…being older, might have an effect on him.

The others knew I'd only be telling Edward my secret. Of all of them, I wasn't at all surprised to see Rosalie take it the worst. Jasper and Emmett seemed mildly disappointed, and Alice…she, of course, had already known. I was even starting to think she might possibly already _know_ my secret.

But somehow, I doubted that.

I moved rather languidly, slowly getting out of bed and taking my time stretching out all my stiff muscles. I cringed as I heard the familiar crack of my joints popping. That always made me feel _really_ old. I looked over to the window, to see the clouds blocking away the sun, though it didn't look like it was going to rain. Demetri sat on my window sill, as still as a stone carving.

"I could run away," I said aloud. Demetri cackled, shaking his small head. I sighed. Since when did I start feeling guilty when _animals_ gave me disapproving looks? I was a seriously messed up person. The cool air wafted into the room, sending chills down my spine. The perfect creepy atmosphere for such a traumatic day.

"But I don't think I can tell Edward," I sighed, walking over to my wardrobe, "Of course, I _did_ promise him, and I honestly don't like going back on my word. So that makes it slightly harder to weasel my way out." I pulled out a pair of jean Bermudas and a shirt. The shirt was one of the older ones that my mother had purchased—made of an unusual, startling shade of red.

Demetri shook his head again, almost glaring at me. I exhaled noisily, running to my door and crossing over to the bathroom. It took my around four minutes to change and freshen up, washing my face and quickly running a brush through my tangled mane of hair. I could tell by the unsettling silence that Charlie had already left. Demetri must've also noticed, because he hopped off his perch and slowly made his way over to me.

"You act so human its almost scary," I whispered to him, as he waddled over to me. His answering grin was smug, and full of mischief. I didn't even bother trying to decode it. I made my way down the stairs, with Demetri closely behind me; although this time he opted for the more avian method of transportation. Flying.

I smiled as I entered the kitchen, seeing a bowl of cereal ready and a note, like usual. The note covered the basics, saying where he was, how long he'd be gone for and to call him in case of emergency. It was a sweet nonetheless, to know he cared enough to tell me even where he was going to _work_. Even after all this time.

Strangely enough, I saw Demetri stare longingly at the note, his eyes swimming with tears. I frowned, very much confused, but he looked away, refusing to meet my eyes. It was oddly…touching, and I almost felt _bad_ for Demetri. I waited patiently before finally sighing, realizing he was probably much too upset to face me right now.

But what did the note have to do with that?

I ate carefully, taking great measures to grind the food in my mouth to a gooey paste before swallowing. Each bite was exact and equal, which was kind of creepy, because I realized I was using _math_ to eat my breakfast. I started purposely taking random, uneven spoonfuls, just to calm my nerves.

The phone rang in the other room, but I ignored it. Even without Caller ID, I already knew who it was. I closed my eyes, continuing eating. The buzzing ring of the phone echoed in the air for awhile, until it finally stopped. I could feel Demetri's critical glare bore into the back of my head.

"I will call back," I said quietly, though as the phone started ringing again, I quickly added, "Or actually pick up, but not right now." I lifted my head to shoot Demetri a smug smile, "Right now I'm busy, and can't be interrupted. I'm still hungry." I took a long sip of coffee, which was in a mug beside me.

After around an hour, the endless ringing was beginning to annoy me. Sighing, I stood up and walked into the living room, and waited until the phone started up again. When it did, I rolled my eyes and picked up. Some people were really just too persistent for their own good. Besides, I _really_ wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Hello Edward," I sighed, slightly cross, "Tell me, do your fingers ever start hurting from pressing the buttons so many times? You should really take up a hobby." I was purposely trying to annoy him, because he'd already spoiled my morning. Demetri was instantly by my side, a rather secretive smile on his face.

"I always get my way," said Edward's voice on the other end, "Besides, you promised. It's the fourth, remember? By the way, did you even _hear_ the other times I tried to call?" He sounded irritated, which amused me. Demetri cackled, as if he could hear every word Edward was saying. Though, I supposed his ears were more advanced than mine.

"Yeah, I heard the phone ring. I just didn't pick up," I snickered, "And you don't have to remind me. I know what day it is." I frowned. _Way to get straight to the point_, I thought, _not very subtle are you, Edward?_ There was a second of awkward silence.

"So…do you want me to come over or how are we going to do this?" He asked, sounding utterly confused. I threw my head back laughing. Demetri gave me a weird look, staring at me as if I were insane. I could practically hear Edward raise his eyebrows, "What are you _laughing_ at?"

"You," I sniggered, "You sound like we're going to have our first time having sex or something. It's hilarious."

"Stop changing the subject," Edward snapped, impatient, "I'll be at your house in half an hour, and _don't_ think of running away or _suddenly_ having to go shopping." And with that, he hung up on me. I smirked, hanging up, though I felt kind of infuriated. _Demanding much._

"Do you want to stay?" I asked Demetri. He nodded his head fiercely, his eyes intense. No matter how much he followed me, or how much I spoke to him, it was still just _so_ amazing to me how intelligent he was. I'd never seen an animal—or a bird for that matter—quite like Demetri. I sighed. Suddenly the phone rang again. Was it Edward calling back?

"Hello" I said politely, though I was quite baffled.

"Hey Bells," came Charlie's gruff voice. Now I was even more confused. Why was Charlie calling me during the middle of the day?

"Hey Dad, what's up?" I asked.

"Just wanted to let you know that I'm spending the weekend at Harry's place."

"Harry?"

"Harry Clearwater—Leah's dad." _Oh_. That would explain it. I wondered how Charlie knew Harry, yet he hadn't known Leah when she first called him. Of course, she _had_ moved out by then, but Charlie had lived here his whole life. _Surely_ he knew who his best friend's daughter was. Or at least made the connection with their last name and appearance. But I didn't inquire upon that.

"For the entire weekend?" That seemed like a fair bit of time.

"Do you mind?" He asked, concerned.

_No._

"Well Dad, I'll miss you," I said sweetly, "But I want you to have fun. So be home soon, alright?" I heard Charlie chuckle on the other end, his comforting, familiar voice almost soothing. It was a sharp contrast to Renée's high-pitched, squeaky voice, which infuriated me to no end every time I heard it. Luckily, I would probably never hear that galling voice again.

"I will Bells. Love you."

"Love you too Dad."

And then he was gone, and I was left listening to the monotonous dial-tone. I didn't hang up as quickly this time, cradling the phone against my ear. Sighing, I put it back down on the receiver. I caught Demetri looking at the phone again, misery filling his eyes. I wanted to hug him, because it felt…like he might just drop dead from sadness right now. I placed a hand gently on his wing.

"I may not know why, but you shouldn't be so sad," I whispered, rubbing him. Demetri looked down, almost ashamed, "And you don't have to tell me, if you're too embarrassed. But I won't judge you." But Demetri wouldn't meet my eyes again, looking far too humiliated to do so. I looked at the clock. Edward said he would be here in half an hour, so until then, I'd have to preoccupy myself.

"Where do we keep the random notebooks?" I mumbled to myself, but Demetri suddenly spread his wings and flew to the other room, coming back a few seconds later with a medium-sized writing book between his beak. I nodded, impressed, "Thanks Demetri."

I grabbed a discarded pencil beside me and started writing. I was surprised, with the pencil in my hand, scribbling across the page, I felt almost catatonic. I sunk into a nearly unconscious state, the pencil just flowing. Images and words rushed into my head, exploding with colours and sounds. Everything that I wrote I could see clearly in my mind. Everything else just seemed to block out, and all that mattered was the pen and paper.

I didn't even notice the time fly by, but it felt like, minutes after I started, the doorbell rang. I sat up in shock, glancing over at the clock. Seeing that it _had_ in fact been half an hour, I closed up the book and rushed over to the door. Demetri followed me like a shadow, not taking his eyes off me for a second. I yanked the door open, and Edward stood there, with a casual smile on his face.

"That was fast," I said, awe-struck, "Half an hour on the dot. You're punctual." He chuckled as I ushered him into the house. He shrugged off his light jacket, hanging it up on the coat rack. I took that time to ogle the way his grey long-sleeve shirt clung perfectly to his form. It was gorgeous, and also a bit sad. He was just…utterly…perfect. He was the definition of perfect.

So how could I ever stand a chance with him?

"I pride myself on my reliability," He said simply, shooting me a meaningful look, "You look short of breath," He pointed out, "Were you doing something before I got here?" He almost sounded guilty, thinking he'd interrupted something important. I almost laughed in his face. Even though I had not _at all_ been looking forward to this day, I would still postpone everything for Edward.

_Bella, you're pathetic. And delusional. And obsessed. You need a life._

_You also need to get laid._

"I was just writing," I admitted, "Nothing special." Edward's face was impressed, more than mine had been at his prompt timing. His eyes drifted to the closed notebook on the coffee table. He walked over, ghosting his finger tips over the cover. Edward looked at me, curious.

"May I take a look?" He asked kindly, still lightly touching the notebook. I reached behind to scratch the back of my head. Biting my bottom lip, I shrugged, walking forward to pick up the notebook. I flipped through the pages, not really reading anything, simply skimming through it. I handed it to Edward.

"Go right ahead. To be honest, _I_ don't even know what's in there. I wasn't really aware of what I was writing." I smiled apologetically. Edward took the writing book and opened it to the first page. I watched in silence, as his eyes slowly scanned each page. I couldn't recognize the emotion in his eyes, but I flushed anyway, feeling very exposed right now.

"This is…" Edward whispered, "Amazing. It's gorgeous." He looked at me intriguingly, "Is this the first time you've ever written seriously and not just for school?" I nodded, "You're a natural talent then!" I blushed harder, but smiled.

"Thanks," I said quietly, "I guess _I_ should try to read it later." We both laughed, then the atmosphere turned uncomfortable. Edward reached forward and swept a lock of my hair behind my ear, though he quickly retracted his hand, blushing profoundly.

"Umm…sorry," He mumbled, backing up away from me, placing the notebook back on the table, "That was uncalled for. I'm sorry." The tips of his ears turned bright scarlet, and I bit my tongue, holding back a treacherous giggle.

But swiftly, his face turned hard, his eyes ablaze with newfound determination. I baulked, afraid of his sudden change in expression and mood. He seemed different now, less…caring. This was good, but still managed to hurt me. _Oh, will you make up your mind already_, the inner demon screeched, _do you want him to love you or not?_

"You promised Isabella," He reminded me, "We had a deal. One month. In fact, I even gave you an extra day. Technically, _yesterday_ was one month. So you have to tell me. Now." He plopped down on the couch, gesturing for me to sit down as well. I—however—chose to keep standing, shifting nervously from foot to foot. I glanced over at the clock, for what seemed like the hundredth time today. It was still not near lunch-time.

"I've been thinking—" I started, but Edward cut me off.

"Oh, that can't be good."

I glared, "I _will_ tell you, but I think I should wait for a few more hours. There's a specific time limit I have until and…I also kind of wanted to ask you something else, though it'll sound a bit strange, especially coming from me." Edward titled his head to the side.

"You make no sense, but what is it?" He asked. I awkwardly rubbed my suddenly sweaty hands together.

"Well…my dad won't be here tonight, and I wanted to know if you could stay the night?" There was a long, tense silence. There was only one word to describe the look on Edward's face. Shocked. I bit my lower lip, completely self-conscious. _Of course he'd take it the wrong way_, I thought, _stupid, hormonal boy._

"Isabella…" He said slowly, "Are you trying to seduce me?" Though his voice was perfectly innocent, there was a tiny twinkle in his eyes. A mischievous twinkle. My entire face went fire-truck red, a squeak leaving my lips. I was stunned there, and he took my reaction as an opportunity to tease me further.

"You don't have to try so hard," He joked, "I'm ready and willing." He spread his arms out, as if ready to hug me. I grinded my teeth together, outright frustrated. From the corner of my eye, I saw Demetri waddle over beside me, glaring at Edward with an inexplicable hatred. He then looked up at me, his midnight eyes clearly saying, _is this guy for real?_

"You are _the_ most pompous, perverted, annoying, loathsome…" He cut me off again, which was really starting to annoy me.

"I'm none of those things and you know it. I just love bugging you. You're so _responsive_," His gaze drifted to Demetri, "Is that your bird?" I nodded, watching Demetri continue to glare at Edward, looking like he might just like to peck out Edward's eyes.

"This is Demetri. He's been following me since I was a little girl."

"I don't think he likes me."

"Maybe he can tell that you're an arrogant, rotten, sarcastic—"

"Oh, will you shut up?"

The whole scene was enough to take me burst out laughing. There was no one I got along better with, argued more with, or loved more, than Edward. He pouted at me for laughing at him. He just kept forgetting everything. I sat down, crossing my legs together.

"A few hours?" He asked, rubbing his cheek with his hand, "I'm guessing there's a perfectly logical explanation for that, right? But I'm also guessing you won't tell me, right?" I smiled sheepishly, noticing that there was light dusting of stubble along his jaw line. It was strangely…sexy. Very rugged, and added to his appeal.

"So…what'll we do to pass the time?" He asked, but there was no trace of teasing in his voice, which I was thankful for. I picked up the remote and switched on the television. A random sitcom popped on that had me and Edward in fits of laughter within the first minute. It was an hour long episode, with another one on right after it. I figured this would occupy our spare time.

But my thoughts wouldn't rest. The jumbled, messy, chaotic, nagging feeling of doom was there too, subdued. Would Edward hate me after this? My chest felt tight just thinking about it. I didn't want him to hate me. It would kill me. And…I wouldn't be able to help him. I couldn't just chase the creatures away. I'd tried before.

And failed.

It was very nearly overwhelming, the feeling of the most horrifying dread. That something terrible was going to happen. Edward seemed to happy and carefree now, the total opposite of when I'd first met him. And I was going to crush that. I was going to turn him back to the darkness that he used to emit.

The minutes turned to hours, and the next time I looked at the clock, it was nearly one. My heart was beating furiously, scared and…excited. No matter how much I hated having to tell Edward this, having someone to talk to would be nice. Leah hadn't contacted me since I'd last seen her at her house…weeks ago.

Edward noticed my gaze and sighed. He reached for the remote and turned the television off. I'm sure my eyes were wide with fear, my hands shaking. Edward looked sweet, his face tender and patient. I looked down, opening and closing my mouth.

"You promised Isabella," he whispered, "Don't go back on your word." Please. I wanted to help you. _Please_." He looked desperate, like he knew that this secret would be the most crucial thing he'd ever hear. _You have no idea what you're getting yourself into Edward_, I thought, _but I'm done. I give up. I tried my best. You win._

"Before I tell you…" I sighed, "You have to know something about me…"

"Know what?"

"You need to know about my past. You need to know what happened to me years ago. What caused everything."

It was useless now. I couldn't keep running away.

He won.

_Your eyes are like  
Beacons.  
They draw  
Attention  
Of the beings  
That lurk._

--

A/N: There, all done. Sorry about the cliffie. I should be starting a new story soon. Or at least have the first chapter up. I do want to finish this story first before I get into another story, but my mind is always so boggled that it's kind of hard to _not_ have a story idea in my head. ADD does that to you. Besides, I'm creative by nature. (;

As always, be sure to thank my editor/nagger Sara. She's the reason this story doesn't just die. She's not a beta, because she's my _personal_ editor. You should all be goddamn jealous. I laugh at you. XD

--Breathless Tomb--


	10. Chapter 9: Cheerless Introductions

A/N: I should have my new story up very shortly. Unless it's already up. I don't plan things in advance. Well, this is it. The chapter where I reveal a heck of a lot. I know it's only chapter 9, but bear with me. I don't go slowly with stories. I like to rush things. Anyway, onto the chapter…

Summary: "There are many things in this world that can seem unfamiliar and scary, but you must never be afraid of them. Fear will only be your undoing." Bella Swan fears many things, but one thing in particular. The dark. Because it's not what you can see, it's what you can't.

--

**Title: **The Core of Fear

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

Chapter 9: October 4, 2005—Forks, Washington

**Bella's POV**

--

"You must've noticed, by now, that I never talk about my past," I started, "I don't answer certain questions, or I'm reluctant to give an answer. Especially concerning my life as a child. I don't think I've ever said anything about myself before I was ten." Edward nodded furiously, waiting for me to continue, which I did.

"My mother—as you may know—left my dad when I was merely eighteen months old. She was a flighty, arrogant witch of a woman. Ever since that day, I lived a relatively boring life in Phoenix, Arizona, with Renée—my mom—, my old goldfish—before it died—, and Demetri."

Edward looked puzzled, "You mean that raven has been with you since you were a year old? How is he still alive? How does he always know where you are?" He fired off questions a mile a minute, but I put a hand up to silence him.

"Not Demetri the raven. Demetri my brother."

Edward sat there, processing what I'd just said. He was frowning, but his eyes held bafflement. Memories were coming back to me, but I pushed them away. This was hard enough as it was. I didn't need the added pain. The shocked green-eyed boy sat still, not completely understanding. I bit my lip, my stomach fluttering.

"A brother?" He breathed, "But…you told Alice were an only child!" I cringed at that.

"Technically, I am. Demetri died when I was seven." Edward reached forward and took one of my hands in his own. His eyes conveyed what words could never express. He was truly sorry for me, but he didn't pity me. His emerald orbs held only comfort and sincere apologies.

"I loved Demetri," I said quietly, "For the first seven years of my life, he was the only person I could ever be around. I would throw fits wherever I was without him, and cry when I was alone. When he died, a part of me died as well. On many occasions, I contemplated suicide. But this Demetri," I nodded at my raven friend, "Seemed to always know and stop me. This Demetri has been with me since my brother's death."

"How did he die?" Edward whispered. I sighed. This was it. There was no denying it. This was the moment I'd tell Edward everything about my life. I sucked in a deep breath, looking at him straight in the eyes. He was tensed, ready for anything.

"When I was five," I said, recalling my early, but prominent memories, "I noticed Demetri was beginning to act a little…off. He was always tired, and he jumped at every small noise. Seeing as how Demetri was thirteen at the time, I found it very strange. So, one day at sunset, I walked into his room, to see him in his pyjamas, climbing into bed.

"I asked him why he was going to bed so early." I stopped, closing my eyes at the memories.

***

_The five-year old girl tentatively opened her brother's bedroom door. Her large, chocolate eyes fell on the thirteen-year old boy, his black hair swept over one of his eyes. A smile blossomed on his face at the sight of his shy younger sister. He beckoned her over, and she happily skipped over to his bed, sitting down on the edge._

"_Why are you sleeping when it isn't bed time?" The little brunette girl asked innocently. Her brother ran a hand through her hair, drawing a giggle from her lips. He seemed troubled, but, there was something in his eyes. Something the little girl couldn't understand._

"_You love me right, Bella?" Her older brother asked carefully. Bella almost scoffed. Her older brother was so silly sometimes. He asked the funniest questions. Mommy would've laughed at such a question. It was obvious to everyone on Earth what her answer would be._

"_Of course I love you Demi," She giggled, "You're my favourite person in the whole wide world! And that's a lot of people." Her arms widened, showing Demetri how big the world was with her hands. Demetri chuckled, but his eyes were full of misery and loneliness._

"_Will you still love me Bella…even if I tell you something that might hurt you?" Demetri asked. Bella's brows furrowed, clearly confused—and a little afraid—at his strange question. She took a moment to ponder, before nodding her head slowly._

"_I will always love you Demi. No matter what."_

***

I shook the memory away, my eyes brimming with tears. Even after all these years, I still missed my favourite and only brother. I missed his sparkling topaz-blue eyes and pitch black hair. The way he used to say my name and his soothing laughter. The way he held me when I cried, and helped me protect myself against the creatures.

"Demetri…told me a story," I said to Edward, "He told me about…" I took a deep breath. Now or never. "Creatures."

"Creatures?" Edward repeated in confusion. I nodded in confirmation.

"He told me a story of little raven-haired girls and boys who feasted on the fear of mortals." This was it. Edward would know now. "Creatures taking on the appearance of schoolchildren, who came out after sunset to haunt you while you slept."

"Why did he tell you this?" Edward asked, suddenly realizing how much bigger this was then he originally thought. _Too late now Cullen. You're already part of it._

"He told me that the creatures had been plaguing him, keeping him from falling asleep. He told me they were trying to kill him," I was hyperventilating, so I tried to calm myself down, "He told me everything he knew about the creatures. That I could never look at them in the eye, because if I did, I would die. He told me that they would try to trick me, to get me to open my eyes, and that, if I looked into their endless black eyes, my heart would stop and my blood would turn to acid. That I would experience the worst pain imaginable."

I laughed bitterly, "Naturally, being a kid, I didn't believe him, and told him that it was a good story. I went to bed right away, still scared from the story. But that night…" I shuddered. My first night had been horrible. I had been completely clueless to what was out there, but—following Demetri's words—I kept my eyes shut.

"It was real," Edward breathed. I nodded, little tears dripping down my face.

"But the most important thing Demetri told me," I continued, my voice thick, "Was to never tell anyone else about the creatures. Because, if I told anyone…they would see them too." Edward looked petrified, but he put on a brave face. He wouldn't be feeling so brave tonight. I frowned at the thought.

"So…I can see them too?" He asked, trying to put on a tough front. I took a quick glance over his shoulder, checking the clock. It was nearly three. How in the world? My story hadn't taken _that_ long to tell, had it? For once, time really bewildered me. I nodded.

"That's why I didn't want to tell you. There's no safe way of telling you without you seeing the creatures as well," I said apologetically, "I'm so sorry. I didn't want this to happen." Edward exhaled.

"No, I asked for this. It's my fault," He glanced into my eyes, "Is that why you wanted me to sleepover? So you could show me?"

"Yes."

"So what do we do until then?" I thought for a second.

"I guess I should teach you all about the creatures."

And that went on for the next three hours. Edward took it better than I thought he would. He understood what he had gotten himself into, and he didn't blame me. He listened carefully, giving me his full attention. He absorbed every detail I threw his way, asking the questions that I'd never even thought of before. He was taking this so much better than I had expected.

But, there was an underlying panic in his eyes. Though he had far too much pride to admit to being scared, to me it was obvious. I was used to that look. A look of false bravery, concealing petrified fear. It was a look I used a lot. It had almost become permanently glued to my face.

I looked out the window and noticed that the sun was beginning to dim. I sighed and pointed outside. Edward followed my hand, his eyes wide with craze. He wasn't ready to deal with this yet. I grabbed his hand and wordless led him to my room. Inside my wardrobe, I pulled out a pair of unisex pyjamas that I hadn't used. Charlie had bought me them a month back. I handed them to him.

"You can change in the bathroom," I told him, pointing across the hall, "But hurry up. The sun is setting." He rushed to the bathroom, coming out a few minutes later. The red plaid pants hung low on his hips, the white wife beater clinging tightly to his chest. I could clearly see the outline of his sculpted abs, but looked away before he could notice my ogling. This was not the time.

"The bed is small, I know," I pointed to my bed in the corner of the room, with the red comforter covering it, "But—for the night—we're going to have to share it." My cheeks flushed anyway, fully aware of the suggestiveness of what I'd just said.

"How long will it be?" His question was cryptic, but I knew what he meant. He wanted to know how long he had until the…creatures came. I bit my lip hard, nearly drawing blood. It was all my fault. I'd dragged him unknowingly into this grief-wrecked world of pain and suffering.

"Maybe an hour or so," I admitted in a small voice, "It depends. There's no _set_ time for when they come. It's usually after the sun sets, when it's shrouded in darkness. But I liked to be prepared. I don't want to get caught off guard by them." Edward nodded, walking over to the other side of my room and slipping into the bed. I awkwardly followed, trying to keep us a good distance from each other without me falling right off the bed.

"Shut your eyes Edward," I reminded him. He didn't need to be told twice. I carefully lifted one of my hands, patting his hair. Edward flinched, his eyes snapping open instantly. I frowned, pursing my lips.

"You have to keep your eyes closed," I told him, "No matter what. I don't care if I'm bleeding to death; you _have_ to keep your eyes shut." He nodded wordlessly, his eyes panicked. _I'm so sorry Edward_, I thought, _I never wanted for you to deal with this_.

"I'm sorry Edward," I choked out, patting his head again. As the room began to darken, I too shut my eyes, waiting for the familiar cackles of the creatures. It wasn't long until they started, as expected.

At first, it was hardly noticeable that they'd arrived. At least, Edward didn't notice. But I did. I felt the air around us begin to chill, the animals quieting. I stiffened, chanting a little song under my breath, trying to calm myself down. Once I'd started singing to myself, Edward understood, gripping my hand tightly.

"Isabella," said an unfamiliar voice. Edward flinched violently. "You've finally brought us fresh meat. Thank you! We were convinced you would never bring us a new mortal to feed from. You and your brother. Such stubborn children. Of course, look where that got him." The vicious voice sniggered and I could tell that it was male.

"Shut up!" I screeched, "Shut up! Don't talk about Demetri!" Fury sparked in my veins, but the fear was still there. No matter what they did, I couldn't find it in me to not be afraid of them. The male voice chuckled, pleasantly amused. Edward hummed beside me, trying to relax me. How backwards this was; Edward, the newbie, was acting as professional as if he'd lived with them his whole life, while I was freaking out over a tiny comment.

"Such insolence," The creature tutted, "Though I _am_ pleased that you decided to tell Eddie-boy here. I was beginning to regret becoming your Watcher. I didn't want to end up like Violet." Though I couldn't see him, I could tell he was genuinely shuddering.

"Violet?" I whispered, "…What happened to her?"

"But I was lucky," He continued, ignoring me, "You decided to tell him and spare me. _They_ haven't been too happy with you lately. Everyone usually tells _someone_ at one point. Even Demetri did. But not you." He sighed, "And while I _can_ respect you on that, it's also pissing me off." I was stunned.

"Who are _they?_" I asked, in the same quiet, breathy voice, "What's a Watcher? Where's Violet?" Edward slipped his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him. I relished in the feeling of protection. It was so…unnatural, but lifting.

"I don't think you're in any position to be asking questions," The creature reprimanded, "You'll learn all these things in time." His friendly chuckles grew louder and higher, turning into psychotic cackles, wrapping all around us. Cold, unwanted hands ran over me, grabbing my legs and arms, trying to pull me. They wouldn't left bruises with the force they were using. Beside me, Edward was struggling, trying to knock off the hands.

"Look everyone," The creature shrieked happily, "Little Eddie is trying to _run_ _away!_ Such a frightened little child!" The laughter escalated, and I could feel tears dripping down my cheeks. I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand why the creatures were acting so rough suddenly, when—my entire life—they'd hardly ever even touched me.

"Don't listen to them Edward," I whispered furiously, "Please Edward." But my please fell on deaf ears. He continued to fight against the creatures, kicking and growling low in his throat. I tried to shush him and run one of my hands through his tousled hair, but nothing helped. He was a man gone mad.

"Hey…Edward," The creature said, his voice lower, "Do you want to see your mother again?" I felt Edward stiffen next to me, "Do you want to? I can help you. All I need you to do is open your eyes." I immediately placed my hand over his eyes, just as I felt his eyelids flutter against my palm. _He'd opened his eyes._

"Don't Edward!" I shouted, "Don't you understand?! He means he's going to _kill_ you! I told you to keep your eyes shut!" I sobbed, my voice nearly clogged, "Please don't kill yourself. I don't want you to die." Though I felt him close his eyes, I didn't take my hand away. The creature chuckled, finding extreme amusement in our tear-fest.

"You ruin all my fun Bella!" I could hear the smile in his voice, "But she's right Edward, you shouldn't be so quick to trust or believe us. You're _much_ too easy. We like a challenge." Edward exhaled shakily, moving a hand up to remove my hands from his eyes. I didn't resist.

"I'm sorry Bella," He whispered, "I won't…I won't do that again." I nodded.

The night went on, filled with more terror than I'd ever felt in my entire life. I could _feel_ Edward's fear, and—combined with my own—that only served to intensify my horror. The normally lukewarm temperature was freezing, the air chilling me to the very bone. I was shivering and shaking and my tears mingling with Edward's. It was painful and terrible and everything cruel in the world.

It was our life.

_Silence is the key  
To sanity  
And you  
Are going to  
Snap._

--

A/N: There, finally done. This chapter actually took forever to write. Sara did help me, with her loving, enthusiastic self. Which is nice. I'm sorry, this is a short author's note, because I'm really freaking scared right now. Long story short, I suddenly found this strange, new document on my computer with everything I've ever written in the past month in it. That means, all MSN conversations, my passwords, and other things. Okay, not everything, not my typed work in my Documents. Just things I wrote to people. Anyways, bye!

--Breathless Tomb--


	11. AN: Dear Peoples

**Dear Peoples,**

**This is Lianna, as you can probably tell.  
I have bad news,  
But some good news too.  
I love this story. Immensely.  
Don't ever doubt that,  
But, as of a few days ago,  
I have decided to allow one of my best friends—Sophie—to rewrite this story as an original novel.  
I have no desire to turn this into a novel,  
Because I like it the way it is,  
But Sophie loved it,  
So I let her.  
We're super excited (I give her ideas when she gets stuck)  
And so far, most of the characters are fully developed along with the plot.  
So, while I will be continuing this story,  
Don't be surprised if you see this in book stores in a few years.  
That's right.  
I'm super confident about Sophie's abilities.  
Plus, we're stubborn.  
The story she's writing—although it contains the creatures—is completely different from this one.  
For one, there are no ravens.  
That right there is a huge X on similarities.  
Ravens are important here.  
Anyways, I'm just informing you guys.  
This story will be updated (sooner or later)  
And I'll post information on my blog concerning the book!  
Thank you!**

**--Breathless Tomb--**


End file.
